you dream a suicidal dream...

i found myself waking up, eyes opened immediately after the impact. the fall was vivid that i can nearly feel the air brushing my cheeks. i swear there was a tear at the corner of my eye. then the impact came and again i almost heard the sound. you don't really hear sounds when you're having r.e.m.

roboto-san 7/23/07 4:13 PM
busy?

carrie bradshaw 7/23/07 4:14 PM
not busy
7/23/07 4:14 PM
just doing some stuff
7/23/07 4:14 PM
but not extremely busy

roboto-san 7/23/07 4:14 PM
oo ok

carrie bradshaw 7/23/07 4:14 PM
why ar?

roboto-san 7/23/07 4:14 PM
have you ever dream of falling down?
7/23/07 4:14 PM
saja je nak borak

carrie bradshaw 7/23/07 4:15 PM
OMG
7/23/07 4:15 PM
all the time
7/23/07 4:15 PM
hah

roboto-san 7/23/07 4:15 PM
no like bukan falling down macam jatuh kerusi
7/23/07 4:15 PM
but macam falling down from a building

carrie bradshaw 7/23/07 4:15 PM
yes
7/23/07 4:15 PM
pernah

roboto-san 7/23/07 4:15 PM
never had dat before
7/23/07 4:16 PM
but i dreamed it last nite
7/23/07 4:16 PM
it was quite a long fall
7/23/07 4:16 PM
so vivid la

carrie bradshaw 7/23/07 4:16 PM
wow

roboto-san 7/23/07 4:16 PM
i dreamed till impact

carrie bradshaw 7/23/07 4:16 PM
wht u think it mean

roboto-san 7/23/07 4:16 PM
macam betul2 mati

carrie bradshaw 7/23/07 4:16 PM
yeah usually i pun like that

roboto-san 7/23/07 4:17 PM
betul2 macam hentak floor almost ada bunyi cos dreams you cant hear voices
7/23/07 4:17 PM
then terus celik mata

carrie bradshaw 7/23/07 4:17 PM
yeah
7/23/07 4:17 PM
if u can itu ialah suara syaitan

roboto-san 7/23/07 4:17 PM
hentak terus bukak mata
7/23/07 4:17 PM
bukan terkejut
7/23/07 4:18 PM
like crash then eyes open
7/23/07 4:18 PM
like so weird

carrie bradshaw 7/23/07 4:19 PM
TO UNDERSTAND THE MEANING OF DREAM ABOUT FALLING ASK YOURSELF:

1. Am I over ambitious? Perhaps you have 'climbed above your station' and experiencing the 'pride before a fall'. You may have to lower your sights somewhat and set yourself goals that are more realistic.

2. Do I fear letting go? The dream may be urging you to stop resisting an impulse from the unconscious. The psychologist Strephon Kaplan-Williams suggests that you should relive the dream in your imagination and let the fall complete itself. In this way, you find out what is frightening you. You 'get to the bottom' of the problem.

roboto-san 7/23/07 4:19 PM
hmmmmmmm
7/23/07 4:19 PM
seriously?
7/23/07 4:20 PM
interesting
7/23/07 4:20 PM
tapi macam tak pernah tau

carrie bradshaw 7/23/07 4:20 PM
As with most common dream themes, falling is an indication of insecurities, instabilities, and anxieties. You are feeling overwhelmed and out of control in some situation in your waking life. This may reflect the way you feel in your relationship or in your work environment. You have lost your foothold and can not hang on or keep up with the hustle and bustle of daily life.When you fall, there is nothing that you can hold on to. You more or less are forced toward this downward motion without any control. This lost of control may parallel a waking situation in your life.

Falling dreams also often reflect a sense of failure or inferiority in some circumstance or situation. It may be the fear of failing in your job/school, loss of status, or failure in love.You feel shameful and lack a sense of pride. You are unable to keep up with the status quo or that you don't measure up.

roboto-san 7/23/07 4:20 PM
i think so...
7/23/07 4:20 PM
i have a lot of that the last few months
7/23/07 4:21 PM
sigh
7/23/07 4:21 PM
but it was fun la actually

carrie bradshaw 7/23/07 4:21 PM
yeah me think so too

roboto-san 7/23/07 4:21 PM
like really suicidal fun
7/23/07 4:21 PM
macam relief
7/23/07 4:21 PM
then slam you hit the ground
7/23/07 4:21 PM
then reality kicks in...

thrill me

Last Friday, we went away for the weekend to a little city called Bandung..

Seriously. Are we safe at this hotel?

ultra-chic Paris Van Java. 'Paris di tanah Jawa'. Very delicious crowd. Beautiful people.

Waiting for Mummy buy CDs is seriously mind-numbing. She got insulted when the dude recommended Rossa and DewaDewi. She bought Radja, Dewa and Samson's latest. She tested all the songs. Cepaaaatlaaaaaaa Mummmmmyyyyyy!! (btw..i lurvvvveee Letto)
P.S Sorry Nads, they didnt have Tompi's first album. The only thing they had was the one i bought for you earlier.

I love JCO donuts. Love, love, love. Notice the uncanny resemblance to a certain donut chain at The Curve. Everyone went crazy over the new donut store. And they have like four flavors? Duh. JCO rocks any day.

Hey look! Thats Nidji's vocalist. No, its Samson's bassist.
No, it's D'LIMA!!! Bolehla. Dose of celebrity. He looks a lot better than on TV.

That is :The sister, G. Titi, a local friend
(get this - her real name is Seri Dewi Nepththy Nigrum.)
And that is my mommy. Happy sebab dapat CDs and good food. Yes. thats her happy look.

Thats me with Kak Ad. She's mummy's second cousin from Padang and came to meet us in Bandung.

mummy wanted to watch a movie. the only movie we hadn't seen yet that was showing was..
a bunch of locals were standing in front of the poster and laughing.
and that is the cinema waiting area. can drink beer and wait for the movie to start. hmpf!

We had a great time. As always. We spent Saturday in Jakarta which was overcrowded and dusty as usual. I don't usually put Bandung and Jakarta pics sbb balik2 bende sama, but this Paris Van Java is new and very swanky. I love it! Titi said hanging out at chic cafes or as we call it melepak is known as DuGem.

DuGem?
Duduk Gembira.
Oh! Short form?
Ya. Tapi kalau clubbing juga dipanggil DuGem.
Tapi kan kalau clubbing dgn lepak kan lain?
Dunia Gemerlapan.
oh wow. DuGem terus terusan saya kalau disini.

what was intended as a short four day spa thingy with no shopping ended up in the three of us being charged for excessive baggage at the airport. we're allowed 15kgs each, which totals up to 45kg of baggage for the three of us. instead, we took to the airport 120kg worth of baggage. damn. had to pay RM1K for excess baggage. plus we got taxed at LCCT.

hmm. now i get it when mummy told us to bring huge suitcases with only three pieces of clothing each. we went with huge empty bags. ha-ha. mummy took with her a huge suitcase with another smaller suitcase inside. 'for hand luggage mase balik.'

work sucks. saya mahu selalu duduk gembira.

selalu dengan mu

previous post got my attention around two this morning.
one of the things S taught me not to listen too much sad love songs.
i listen to this instead while writing this.
can't seemed to find the right words to describe how much you mean to me...



----



adakah waktu yang tak berbatas
untukku berasa bahagia
saat-saat aku jatuh cinta
saat ku terbang jauh ke sana

selalu denganmu, kasihku selamanya
selalu denganmu, cintaku bersama



kaulah matahari dalam hidupku
dan kaulah cahaya bulan di malamku
hadirmu selalu akan ku tunggu
cintamu selalu akan ku rindu

selalu denganmu, kasihku selamanya
selalu denganmu, cintaku bersama



tahukah kau diriku
tak sanggup hidup bila kau jauh dari ku
ku ingin dipeluk mu selalu

selalu denganmu, kasihku selamanya
selalu denganmu, cintaku bersama



oh Tuhan tetapkanlah rasa cintaku ini
hanya untuk mu
selalu setia selama-lamanya

selalu denganmu, kasihku selamanya
selalu denganmu, cintaku bersama...
----

i heart you

obsession

In a sick way I want to thank you
for holding my head up late at night
While I was busy waging wars on myself,
you were trying to stop the fight
You never doubted my warped opinions
on things like suicidal hate
You made me compliment myself
when it was way too hard to take

shoot me, please

from inside my room, if i crane my neck just a little bit, i can see five guys waiting in the lounge for a job interview.

they are seriously cute. the cutest one came with his girlfriend. so action the girlfriend, want to jeling-jeling me some more.

got ar people come for interview bring girlfriend for moral support?

i want to know what post they're applying for. i ve tried to ask Iza from HR but she's been on the phone all morning, attending to people complain about the pay raise or something. (oh yeah. everyone's got their increment in today's paycheck - excluding me that is)

i passed by the lounge three times to get water from the water dispenser (im not a coffee drinker). they seem kind of young looking. hmmm..close-up, a lot younger actually.

i think I'll grow old like those ladies who always fancy younger men. hehe. i never ever ever liked old men. never.

balls are ugly enough without having to see one thats aged 50 years. eww..

which was why i applauded the choices of Pak Lah and Raja Nazrin.

any 21 year old B-grade celebrity would never say no to either of them.

but people with some sense would pick someone whom they could carry a decent conversation with. and compliment their lives.

zara - beauty with brains. nice.

to my dear unwed friends (whom all i definitely know are beauty with brains). no rush for the aisle. u can be 34 and score the hottest bachelor around. its proven eh?

this is a pointless entry.

and yes, there's not much work at the office today.

i hope that cute guy gets the job. really. i need some motivation to come to work. a pretty face would be nice.