charity

When you meet someone who has had 10 cars in the past ten years compared with another one who has only one. Who do you think knows more about cars?

When u meet someone who has had 5 jobs in the last ten years compared to a person who’s been in the same job for ten years, who is more experienced regarding the current job trend?

Precisely.

Some people very wrongly mistake me for the person who knows a lot about relationships. And they couldn’t be anymore wrong. I’ve been dating the same guy for almost a decade now. (Oh my) So what makes me the expert? You are better of asking someone who has, in the span of the past decade, had like, three relationships, four flings, two one night stands and a dozen potentials that didn’t quite work out. Those are the right people to ask. They know the dating game. Just cos I’ve been dating that long doesn’t make me an expert. Yes, it makes me an expert on D, but no expert in matters of the heart. D’s heart, maybe, yes.

My male friends think I know HAWT chicks that I can fix them with. Truth is, most of my friends are okay just that..the single ones are a bit of a wild child and some are very comfortable single. I cant help. Really I cant. Wish I could.

Well today im gonna be a really good friend to them, ahem, and without their knowledge try and hook them up with decent dates. FYI they’re all ready to ‘meet the parents’. You know what I mean right?

Bachelor 1.
Mr. French
Single malay guy. Late twenties. Medium build, fair. Very brilliant. Graduated from France thus speaking fluent French (sexy!). Very outdoorsy. Likes running, rock-climbing and any fitness activities. Non-smoker. Type A personality. Politically correct. Yes, im still wondering why he is my friend.
The catch? Doesn’t appreciate lewd, perverted email/jokes. Trust me. I know. A bit lacking in the humor department. But only a bit. And he lives with his parents.
Seeks Scarlett Johansson look alike. Seriously though, would like someone who can carry an intelligent conversation, athletic and non-smoker. Basically, someone not like me. If you think you’re so not like me, this might be the one for you.

Bachelor 2.
Mr. 6’3
Yes. He is 6’3. I feel like a midget around him. Well-bred, well-fed. Non-smoker. Can be shy around girls and doesn’t talk much. Has own car, apartment. Typical ‘big boy’ who enjoys footie, mamak and video games. I think he’s into MU. Looks a bit like Harith Iskandar with hair but less fat, which isn’t bad at all if you really think about it. Type B personality.
The catch? He is the ONLY child and has never ever lived away from home. Be prepared.
Seeks female ‘who at least is up to his shoulders’ (im only up to his chest, or was it his elbows? Hard to tell, my neck hurt) pretty and ‘tak pakai tudung’. Preferably someone who’s never been married before. (Don’t know why he provided me with that last bit of information) Non-smokers please. And he can’t fit in a kancil. He’ll suffocate.

Bachelor 3
Mr. Culinary
Now I can talk about him. We have this thing call a ‘culinary affair’. We got out eat. That’s all we do. Eat, eat, and eat. Everything we plan circle around what to eat? Where to eat? Anyways. He smokes Dunhill like a chimney and has been using this one lighter ever since I knew him four years back. (Is that supposed to mean something? I don’t know. Heh.) Chindian but looks very much Malay. Able to carry intelligent conversation as well as the dumbest conversation. The only Bachelor who doesn’t live with his parents. First Class graduate and extremely articulate. Well-read. Type A personality. Oh, and he describes me as ‘almost hot’. I don’t get it either.
The catch? He’s from the east coast. Not an issue for some, a huge deal for others. And he refuses to buy a car. But he can drive.
Seeks skinny, intelligent girls with wicked wit. Doesn’t care smokers or not, tudung or not. Not nearing marriage as yet as he is 25. Relationship/Companionship/Friendship welcome.

So girls, who will it be? Bachelor 1, 2 or 3? By the way, this is not a joke. Serious buyers, I mean daters only. And men please don’t try, these people have no intention of going that direction. Please do hit me at m/e/a/n/d/m/y/m/a/n/o/l/o/s at yahoo.com. Discretion is assured. I swear. And these boys don’t know im advertising them. It’ll be my present to them. Sigh. Im such a good friend.

I hope to get positive responses. When they asked me if I knew anyone…? The first ten names of single girlfriends that sprang to mind all smoke/not willing to settle down/too assertive of their independence/tired of the dating game/contemplating being a lesbian (im sure men dig that)/looking for Mr. Right Now rather than Mr. Right.

Help me help them for a better future. :) S does her bit for the community.

the holiday. please dont watch it. it sucks

remember years ago, probably back in 1997/98 there was the movie the avengers with uma thurman? the trailer was like so, cool that everyone wanted to go and see it. and the movie turned out to be so freaking shitty that we felt so cheated? remember? well, the line 'how now brown cow' was made popular by that movie (not sure if it started before they used it in the movie). and that was the only memorable thing about the movie.

well my dear,

the holiday is exactly like that. the trailer is like, super cool chick flick with jack black thrown in (how great is that?) and cameron d for babe factor and kate winslet for talent and jude law for yummy factor. which explain the full house for yesterdays midnight show. but the movie was icky like hell. its just bad. super duper bad. sangap cam haraaamm. i mean jack black and cam D for gossake! how can it go wrong? well, it just did. its like being tortured in my seat for two hours wondering when the best part was gonna appear. it didnt. in the trailer, you probably assume that cam D takes off with jude law and Kate Winslet with Jack Black. well, they did. except kate and Jack fell in love LIKE, 15 minutes before the credits started rolling.
YAAWWWNN...

gile babi okay? sangap.

i didnt even plan to watch that. me and my kid sister and brother initially wanted to watch KUNTILANAK (honestly.) but then found out that it was rated 18PL and brother was still 15 so wasnt gonna risk money on that. so the holiday it was. perfectly understandable why brother fell asleep throughout most of the movie. we stood up and watched him sleep after the movie was over contemplating what tricks we could play on him when a pakcik arab seated behind us asked " is he sleeping? do you want me to wake him up? do you know him?" trying to be helpful and all thinking brother was a stranger and we were too embarrassed to wake him up or something. it did take quite an amount of effort to wake him since he was in deep deep sleep.

seriously.

the previous night, that friday night, me and a friend watched EPIC movie. i am a fan of spoofs. haha. yes. says a lot about my IQ level doesnt it? wasnt as funny as date movie which was freaking hilarious but okay la. can la. too bad for friend who didnt watch much movies as it resulted in not being able to recognize certain scenes. takpelah. wattodo?

didnt go climbing this weekend. D went alone and didnt have much fun either. too crowded and too noisy. glad i wasnt there. its like a pasar now right? hmm..

dreading a new week. but hoping for a looooong weekend ahead. tak sabar rasenye saya hendak bercuti lagi.. yee-ha.

and i will watch KUNTILANAK eventually.

return of the couch potato

since the release of the latest episode of prisonbreak in the US on 22nd January after the one month break, the traffic downloading the episode is shitty like hell. after numerous attempts, i finally have it! i am sooooo frigging happy..happyhappyhappy.

and then they announced the amazing race all-star with rob and amber still innit. a must watch for fans like moi! huhu

gotta go. buhbye. meeting from 9.30 till forever. zzzzzzzzzzz.....

heights. abstinence.

the climb last yesterday was fucking nerve-wrecking. they recently had a high wall installed and it went right up to roof of one utama. i was attempting the high wall which ended right were my right hand was and after that was all glass with the view of the highway. i climbed halfway and then D shouted some encouragement from down there and i looked and him and he was so tiny. i freaked and got trembly and looked away and accidently looked outside where people were the size of postage stamps. i clung to the rope and screamed for D to let me down. yes. i am afraid of heights. but i beat kicked that aussie chick's ass anyways. :P
fyi, laptop just came outta the IT Unit. A bad case of virus. am prohibited from copying grey's anatomy from the server. hmpf. boring.

something funny happened. we were fooling around and having a laugh when D remarked

"i like your smell"
"really" flattered.
"yeah, abstinence right?"

wtf? no one in this planet would ever design a fragrance and name it abstinence. i did not use a fragrance with the name abstinence. i was appalled that he would think i smelt of abstinence. do you know what the hell abstinence is? obviously he does not.

Abstinence not having sexual intercourse
Abstinence means avoiding sex. Sex can have different definitions for different people. Some people define sex as penis-in-vagina intercourse. Others may include oral sex, anal sex, or even kissing and touching. The way you define "sex" determines what activities to avoid if you want to abstain.

i refuse to believe that i smell like a sexually deprived person. or anything deprived person. i do not. hmph! abstinence indeed.

the perfume was insolence, baby. and you gave it to me.

how do you know how much is too much?

im feeling drained, uninspired, lethargic and tired. might be due to a few things;
-the kick-start of working out again. use to be able to do 4km, now half dead at only 2km.
-that time of month again. i hate havin the period. causes violent mood swings and pain here and there. even i cant handle my own mood swings.
-the fact that my roomie is located to the next room and now i have no one to talk to and YM is currently blocked and my back is aching from all that heavy lifting.

im in no mood to be civil, friendly or cheerful. the only people i'll have around me are those who understand my constant need to whine and sulk. those who keep on asking why?why?why? makes me want to slap!slap!slap! them.

had an early morning meeting yesterday. loooooong one. timed myself to arrive early at the office. mind was very very messed up and took the wrong road which ended-up halfway to KLIA. fyi, it takes less than 10 minutes from home to office. today, i was officially very very late.
boss was agitated, i was flustered. she asked me of all the days why did i have to pick this important day to be late? i certainly wasnt gonna say i took the wrong route and risk looking like a complete jack-ass. so i smiled the 'i overslept' smile and took the heat. better be seen as a hopeless morning person rather than a lost moron.

been indoors a lot. having completed the entire prisonbreak series last month, left me with nothing to drool over. A recommended Heroes. I watched Heroes. was so-so la. cant compare sex-god scofield to peter petrelli, come-on. too much fiction on heroes. something realistic please.

Then A recommended Desperate Housewives. She had the entire collection till the latest episodes. I did watch it. Better than Heroes but not as good as Sex in the City. Got glued for a bit. Im actually wondering. Who actually watches Desperate Housewives? kids? people like me who cant relate to housewive issues? housewives? funny to have a story about housewives and then having young single people watch it. and loving it.

DN then said the OC was good. The OC tak best la. biase je. reminds me of the popular kids in high school. go steady and break-up, go steady and break-up within the same crowd. that ryan dude makes me wanna scream why his head is always senget trying to look like bad-ass. whats with the kepala senget dude? please-la. i actually took a sigh of relief after completing all the seasons. nak muntah dah.

Last week i started on Grey's Anatomy. This is good stuff. But cant watch it while eating cos some parts gross me out. That Justin Chambers guy is still as hot as he was when i had a crush on him in 1997 when he did that CK ad. phwoar! Justin Chambers Justin Chambers Justin Chambers. Dear Justin, I wouldve liked you better than scofield but he's an ex-con and an engineer while you're just a doctor. so he wins since he a bit more of a baddie than you are, even though you did that CK ad while the only modelling he ever did was being on fat-ass mariah carey' video.

The end bit where people narrate to conclude episodes are my favourite parts of any stuff i watch. They carry so much meaning. Carrie Bradshaw did it for Sex in the City, Mary Alice Young for Desperate Housewives and Meredith Grey for Grey's Anatomy. I use to think that i could base my life on everything Carrie said since she made so much sense. But now Meredith is making even more sense. Well, cant compare sex columnist with a doctor can you? can you?

In the meantime, my brain is turning to mush. that much couch potatoing is taking its tol. Im basing my life with my favourite characters for heaven's sake. help?

four days at the curve

saturday

i was at home bored and uninspired. had work to be done but was seriously lazy as hell. i'll put it off till tommorow. in the meantime i'll call D and see if he wants to pick me up for lunch. yay. he does. we dwell on where to lunch and D suggests Thai Express in THE CURVE where the soft-shell crab is to die for. D says he already ate and will therefore ONLY watch me eat. i say okay! no problem. he takes one look at my food and decides that he wants them too. he orders another plate. copycat. then we sit at starbucks while he taps away on his laptop, i seriously get bored and look around and see the fleamarket. i take a walk and come back with a pair or black suede wedges. D says they look great but suggest we move indoors instead where I can read magazines from borders while he does his work. i pick magazines mostly with articles about britney spears and her new bff, paris and their lack of underwear. i could do this everyday. huhu. i love chocolate hazelnut with whipped cream. its fucking sinful but the first sip is close to heaven and the last drop always makes me sick. ha-ha. ever since A introduced me to it, ive been ordering nothing else. yum.
D turns his laptop over to me and ask me to book a movie marathon on monday. to be fair i'll pick a movie and he'll pick one. so i pick lovewrecked (i saw D cringe haha) and D picked Days of Glory. then we went home.

sunday

selamat hari raya aidiladha. my colleague Ming had plans to cook and wants me to come over for aidiladha openhouse. yipee! didnt know people had those but what the hell. so i drove all the way to ampang where i have absolutely no idea where im going and then call her and tell her im lost and she comes to the rescue. i know...she is soo sweet! she seriously cooked some really yummy treats. the theme was south african dishes and i was seriously lickin my fingers. sedap nye.
i went up to her room and seriously that girl has the most awesome room ever. she has the entire floor all to herself and her rooms is so huge she actually has sliding doors to seperate her bed with her study. how cool is that? and she has a drumset inside her room all black and shiny.
we lie down on her four-post bed and smoke ciggies while we talk about boys. i peered out the window and saw this unfinished bungalow which seriously looked like the one they used in Cinta.

" Ming, thats the house they used in Cinta!"
" Are you crazy? That house is not even ready yet"

Oh well. its clear that she has not seen the movie. i left after she was summoned to her bf's house. D asked me what i wanted to do for new year. its been soooooo long since i went out. D had two options for me. the party in sepang or the party in melaka. i told him i missed doing what we did as kids which was going to street parties every new year's eve. i said i wanted to go to THE CURVE street party. he said yeah. we left home around around nine. parked and ate at ikea. D said he already ate and will teman me eat. fine. i had swedish meatballs and he had no willpower. he ordered something as soon as he saw me take my first bite. dude, seriously. we ate slowly and went in the glass room to smoke and then went downstairs to join the crowd. i really missed stuff like this. its been so long since we went to street parties. and i'll bet you that we wont meet a single friend of ours since no one goes to street parties anymore. but yeah we had fun. the fireworks were awesome. a whole TEN minutes of fireworks. we left at 12.30. oh well. i guess we arent what we use to be. put off my work yet again. i'll do it tomorrow. swear.

monday

movie marathon day. wootwoot. D had these voucher from Jusco he won in contest and we decided to use those to buy food. I picked fish and chips, two hash browns and two pieces of fried chicken. D decided to be the sensible one and had eight pieces of sushi instead. figures. always trying to make me look bad. went for the movies at cineleisure, THE CURVE. we watched lovewrecked. funny, lame and cute. i like it!
after that we watched Days of Glory. I hate war movies but i hate foreign war movies even worse. it was in french of all things! half was in french and half was in arabic. but after it got to me. i kinda enjoyed it. it was sad. not about victory. but about plight of muslims soldiers in france. go watch it. very bittersweet. tapi kena baca subtitles la melainkan korang pandai cakap arab atau french. and FYI, I only ended up eating half of my fish and chips and one hash brown. D wiped everything else clean. so, no. im not a pig. even though i heap food like i am.
went back home tired. i promise i will finish my work tomorrow. betul.

tuesday

we already agreed not to go out today. today is the day we stay in and catch up on work and rest.
i called D and had him pick me up for lunch and buy me lunch oso at THE CURVE. hehe. this time he said he already ate and was not hungry. while i ate, he read his magazine and totally ignored me. but when i didnt finish my food. he polished it clean.
then we did this starbucks/borders thingy again. i found out that paris hilton hit lindsay lohan with a champange glass and oprah winfrey was uninvited to tomkat post wedding party. so kesian huh? D has this twisted weird look when he sipped his chocolate hazelnut. nape muke you macam tuh babe? sebab sedap sangat la this drink. ha.
sat for hours and then he said he wanted to go to ikea and buy a desk. so we walked around for a bit and then got sidetracked into almost buying this amazingly cool sofa bed instead. i came to my senses and decided that when we shop for a desk we should come home with a desk. (on sunday i went with A.S to buy deodorant for her and instead came back with one handbag, two shoes and no deodorant. lesson learnt)
went back home. watched another three episodes of the OC. work still not done. dammit la. malas nak mampus. keep telling myself i'll start at one a.m. and i sooooooooooooo lazily did. like hell. ugh. wish my boss was still away so i could just procrastinate some more and just do it in the office tomorrow.

now

am in the office. boss on MC.