life. post bali.

24 hours ago

we were hopping into a cab after a shopping spree in kuta square to have a fabulous balinese lunch.

today im at my desk, trying to imagine the sound of the rain outside is actually the waves rushing to the shore. and my boss is piling the work. and the emails are pouring in. and the phone wont shut-up.

i need another holiday. july 6th, please come quick!

breathe in. breathe out.

its not something you look forward to, having your measurements taken by a guy who has measured the waist of siti nurhaliza (before Datuk K injected the pounds), norjuma (before she doubled her size), nora danish and princess zara.

ive been dreading this sessions ever since my mom told me she scheduled the appointment for us today. dammit la.

the first appointment was a few months back - we had sketches done and designs proposed, but mummy didn't allow measurements to be taken yet as she had faith that i would be able to shed a few spare tires which unfortunately didn't happen.

aiyo.

so miserable i tell you. she would deprive me of food and i would tell her i wanted to go and pickup something and ended up at williams in PJ devouring hungrily the enormous portions. i'd go home all innocent-looking and go right to sleep. haha

she'd poke my belly and my thighs and tell me to diet! diet! diet!
whenever i eat, she'd stare at the food on my plate and say something that would make me wanna bang my head against the wall.

but last weekend, she told me the appointment was set and i had to go today. i was dreading this like hell. apparently the guy had called and ask when i was coming in for measurements and my mom told him to give a little more time. he said "alaaa..tak payah la diet2 ni.. kalau die happy, biar je laa..i pun tak kisah"

the fuck he cares. he charges an arm and a leg and a head for his services, obviously he doesn't care.

anyways, i ve been on a stupid graham and green tea diet for the whole week and i hope i can fool him into thinking my waist it as tiny as norjuma or whoever and i've also been practicing holding my stomach in till it looks kinda (!) flat. kind of anyways. so let's hope this works.

the only person ive manage to fool so far is myself. i believe i've lost weight anyways. haha.

then today i walk into the office feeling happy (cos today is the day, like, finally- let's get this over with) and light-headed (its hunger, i know) and then i received some disturbing news.

apparently last month was bonus month and everybody is a bit rich and so far ive manage to dodge all this belanja makan. i thought it was over. and then boss tells me we're going for lunch today - her treat. how? and its chilli's. having someone else pay for chilli's apart from D is kinda refreshing.

aiyo so conflict -la . so tempting. but then i think about that guy's expressions when he measures my waist and finds out im like 40 inches or something and i loose my appetite. fuck kan?

this is how fat people feel like in case you don't know. its a very sad life.

okay. im going to follow them to lunch since its the boss is paying. plus i have to rip her off so i wont feel bad if she's ever nasty/wont approve my leave/holds me back after work. let's see how much self control i have.

in the meantime i'll still be here practicing the art of holding my stomach in.

oh. and i have the bali trip tomorrow. i'll spare the people over there from having to witness a bluehyppo on the loose yeah?

push and pull

its been while now eh?

ive been occupied. and a little under the weather. thanks for the well-wishes, very kind of you.

my very good friend mr.culinary has come up with his own blog. go look it up. he's as twisted and sad as he sounds.

and he told this morning he wanted to commit suicide.

i told him thats what happens to people who play with their imaginary friends all day

the blog will probably last ten posts. he has the attention span of a four year old kid. technically, there is a four year old living inside his body.

i'm sure of it.

Hazardous

Cannot update blog due to health reasons.

Jakarta was unkind.

fifteen and seventeen

D told me he had VIP seats to see Good Charlotte. What is a Good Charlotte indeed?

That pretty much sums up about how excited I was at the prospect of seeing Good Charlotte in action.

I told Mummy D had free tickets. Naturally, Mummy told my fifteen year-old brother. As expected, fifteen year old brother started bugging me to give the tickets to him.

"kak looonnggg pleeeease??"
"mane boleh. Kak long nak pergi tengok"
"eleh..macam la awak tahu lagu good charlotte pun"
"tauuuu laaaa" what a lie.
"nipu la tu. Cuba nyanyi sikit."

I make up something and start humming. Sounded pretty convincing to me.

He doubles up with laughter.

"alaaa memang la saya tak tere nyanyi tapi saya tahu la lagu die"
"tahpape la kak long ni"
"kalau saya tak jadi pergi pun..ade kawan D dah nak beli ticket tu"
"brape die nak beli ?"
"dua ratus ringgit" i just made it up.
"takpe. Saya jual iPOD video saya"
"gile ke? Bagitau mummy awak nak jual iPOD!!"
"alaaaaaaaaa…"

I wasn’t being mean. I just wanted to do something with D. We haven’t been seeing much of each other lately. He’s been busy like hell with office work and freelance work. This is my chance to do something with him. Like, finally.

Then Saturday came. I got my period. Along with it came the horrible horrible pain. I spent the day in bed clutching a bag of PONSTAN 500mg. I hate my period. Seriously. How was I supposed to go ‘punk rock chick’ with a heavy flow and stomach cramps? I called D around 4 telling him. He said if it was bad we don’t have to go and he can stay at home and catch up on his work. (my boyfriend is a raging workaholic. officially) he kinda sounded relieved. hmmm.

He said if i really didn’t feel like it, he’ll come over and send the tix for my bratty brother. I told my mom. I told my brother.

"im givin you the tickets sbb saya sakit perut"
"sudahlah. Tak kelakar la lawak awak ni"
"betul la"
"Malas nak layan"
"Betuuuuul laaaa"

Then mummy butts in.

"betul la.."
"betul ke?"
"betul laaaaaaaaaaaaaa"

Grins from ear to ear and does a little mad dance routine.

My 17 year old sister was itching to go. My brother said over his dead body would he take his sister. My sister told my mom. My mom ordered my brother to take his sister.

Hahahahahaha.

D came over and we dropped those kids off at the stadium.

We have dinner at Bangsar. Sister calls every half hour..

1# phone call

"kak g!!! tempat VIP ni boring la.....semorang duduk je. kitorang je yang lebih-lebih"

(sounds of brother howling in the background.)

2# phone call

"HEY! LISTEN TO THIS!! LISTEN TO THIS SONG"
Puts phone to the noise. Cant hear anything but screaming.
"AMAZING HUH?"
Well, yeah. The noise is amazing.

Afterwards, mummy and I went to pick them up.

Fifteen year old brother was wearing a new Good Charlotte t-shirt with a wide grin.


See, that’s what happens when VIP/Media Passes fall into hands of a fifteen year old boy. He goes mad.

He was babbling about the concert to Mummy. So was my sister.

Apparently, Good Charlotte’s opening band’s drummer’s fingers brushed against her shoulders and now she can’t shut up about it.I probably would have gone to the concert, fought with D about where to park, sat for about an hour and walk around looking for drinks and sit for another ten minutes and then gone home after the third song to avoid the traffic. And forget all about it in two days.

Like D said, it was better to give it to someone who reeaaaally loved the band.

We reached home and brother excitedly takes out his cell phone to let us see the video (or whatever you call flashing lights against a pitch black background) he recorded with his phone.

"dengar la ni. Best tau lagu ni"
"ye la. Dengar la ni" layankan je.
"Okok…dengar…"

We wait for the chorus….

....….and all we hear is his sister’s mad voice screaming the song during the performance in a totally out-of-tune wailing against the faint sounds of Good Charlotte in the background..

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH

The look on his face?

Priceless.