cuba korang imagine...
semalam aku kuar ngan K. lepak bestari hartamas lepas keje. layankan member sorang nih yang still rasa down sebab baru break up. aku dah macam baper hari melayankan dia. tapi takpe... member punya pasal. tapi tu story lain. bila aku ada time aku citer.
masa aku lepak semalam, belakang meja aku ada satu group bebudak nih. sambung tiga meja macam nak makan besar. lebih kurang 19-21 la umur. dressing dah macam nak pegi clubbing. sedangkan baru nak masuk maghrib. korang nih bagus la. dgn memekaknya... dengan cockynye... dgn mengada2nya. segala benda yang kita buat masa kita kat kolej dulu. yang citer pasal zouk la. yang citer pasal mabuk la. yang citer pasal dj nih gempak la. yang citer pasal mamat ni couple ngan minah nih laa. apa apa la.
budak2 poyo habeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeess.
meja depan aku pulak abang2 baru balik keje yang smart, pakai shirt, cufflinks, perut buncit, clean shaved. memang kira macam dah umur 28-mid thirties la... kalau pikir nak jadi sugar daddy tuh memang boleh lagi la. hehe. diorang nih pulak cakap kuat nak mapus pasal bisnes laaaa, pasal datuk nih laa... pasal contract ni laaa, apa2 lagi la yang membuatkan diorang lagi kaya dari apa yang diorang ada skang.
mid life crisis...
aku ngan K, dua orang kat tgh2 diorang. sorang 24, sorang 26. cakap pun pelan. K dah memang tgh high. aku memang penat keje sebab mad rush dari minggu lepas. nak citer pasal keje tak larat. nak citer pasal chicks, dah tak tau nak cakap apa. aku dah tahap kena kawin, K baru break. nak citer pasal duit, sekor2 dah kering tgh bulan. tak tau apa nak citer... melangok, merepek, isap rokok, gelak, minum, merepek lagi (ulang lagi 80x)... sampai balik.
aku rasa macam kat tengah-tengah... cam omputih cakap...
i'm caught in the middle...
*cerita ini tidak mengandungi sebarang nilai moral baik/buruk untuk disampaikan kepada para pembaca. segala interpretasi dan olahan cerita adalah imaginasi pembaca-pembaca sendiri.
Friday, September 16, 2005
Wednesday, September 07, 2005
outline these defences
woke up this morning resembling a member of the alleycats. or maybe even an alleycat. my hair was sticking out in 64 different directions. its tough to start of the day when the mirror is the first thing you see when you sit up in bed. its definitely not the face i'd want to see in the morning.
problem was i went swimming with my sister yesterday. got too tired. came home. dried myself and went straight to bed. didnt shower. probably that was it. chlorine+public's pee.
my friends have a problem with me. they cant accept the fact that i shower once a day. they think im disgusting. i think they're wasting a lot of water. they think im unhygienic. i think i smell nicer than all of them put togther. plus no one in my entire family showers more than once. except for daddy. we'd rather spend the money paying internet bills or something.
sometimes it just baffles me why there seem to be a need for some people to shower two, three, four and even five times (!) a day. gile ape?
when i first knew D, he didnt understand that. he was always throwing the towel at me and telling me to shower cos it was hot/we're tired/it rained and all sorts of ridiculous reasons on why i should shower. just cos he's feeling all that doesnt mean i have to shower too. i feel fine.
few years down the road. D showers once a day. he has my habits. *hah!* i asked why. malaslaa babe! he's still looks the same, smells the same and sometimes taste the same. see? nobody needs 12 showers a day.
oh btw. i do have chinese blood. my friends think..oh! sod off what my friends think..
problem was i went swimming with my sister yesterday. got too tired. came home. dried myself and went straight to bed. didnt shower. probably that was it. chlorine+public's pee.
my friends have a problem with me. they cant accept the fact that i shower once a day. they think im disgusting. i think they're wasting a lot of water. they think im unhygienic. i think i smell nicer than all of them put togther. plus no one in my entire family showers more than once. except for daddy. we'd rather spend the money paying internet bills or something.
sometimes it just baffles me why there seem to be a need for some people to shower two, three, four and even five times (!) a day. gile ape?
when i first knew D, he didnt understand that. he was always throwing the towel at me and telling me to shower cos it was hot/we're tired/it rained and all sorts of ridiculous reasons on why i should shower. just cos he's feeling all that doesnt mean i have to shower too. i feel fine.
few years down the road. D showers once a day. he has my habits. *hah!* i asked why. malaslaa babe! he's still looks the same, smells the same and sometimes taste the same. see? nobody needs 12 showers a day.
oh btw. i do have chinese blood. my friends think..oh! sod off what my friends think..
Tuesday, September 06, 2005
kenapa orang ingat aku macam tuh?
aku tak tau kenapa... tapi kekadang orang ingat aku ni gay. or gays memang suka orang macam aku... kalau pompuan takpelaaa jugak. terasa laa hot jugak kan? ini batang daaaa.
korang baca pun terkejut kan? nak tergelak tak? anyways, aku dah banyak kali dapat statements macam ni. aku beritau korang...
-------------
Insiden 1
masa: semalam, masa photo shoot kat kl hilton
aku kenal sorang stylist nih... aku tak nak kasi tau nama dia la. kita panggil dia A laa.. dia selalu laa conduct photoshoots and everything. lepas habis photoshoot, aku borak la dgn stylist nih dgn make up artist dia... dua2 gay... out of the blue dia tanya...
A: D, are you straight or gay?
aku: Haha! I'm straight la A!
A: Really? Nevermind... I know some Malay boys they're a bit "convertibles" (sambil tersengih kerang dia...)
bereeeeessssss...
tak cukup dgn tuh masa nak blah dah... dia boleh cakap ngan make up artist, B, depan aku camni...
A: Eh, D straight la...
B: Ye ker?
A: Yeeaaaaah...
A terus pandang kat aku.
A: I don't believe you D...
Sambil melambai tangan dia yang alahai lembuuuuuuuuuuuuutt
*sigh
-------------
Insiden 2
masa: 2 tahun lepas. kat BSC, tgh jejalan ngan S
S terjumpa kawan gay dia, J, masa tgh jejalan. Diorang borak laa say hi and all that stuff. J nih ngan bf dia. aku dok jejauh laa isap okok. malas nak join. gay tapi muka macho ganas! takut siol!
lepas S jumpa dia, S citer kat aku balik apa yang diorang borak...
J: ss that your bf?
S: yeah, is that yours?
J: (dengan tersipu2 malu) yeah... bf you meletup la! can we change bfs?
bereeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeessssssssss...
-------------
Insiden 3
masa: 5 tahun lepas...memang ingat sampai mati la nih...
S: D, are you straight?
Aku: huh? What do you mean straight?
S: i mean, are you gay?
Aku: of course im not gay! what makes you thing im gay??!!
Yang paling bestnye... sampai skang S ingat aku gay... alahai memang best. S, you memang caraaaa...
-------------
Ada banyak lagi insiden2 yang buat aku macam tak tau nak cakap apa... tapi korang tolong laa beritau aku... dengan secara jujur nye... korang ingat aku nih gay ke?
*sigh
korang baca pun terkejut kan? nak tergelak tak? anyways, aku dah banyak kali dapat statements macam ni. aku beritau korang...
-------------
Insiden 1
masa: semalam, masa photo shoot kat kl hilton
aku kenal sorang stylist nih... aku tak nak kasi tau nama dia la. kita panggil dia A laa.. dia selalu laa conduct photoshoots and everything. lepas habis photoshoot, aku borak la dgn stylist nih dgn make up artist dia... dua2 gay... out of the blue dia tanya...
A: D, are you straight or gay?
aku: Haha! I'm straight la A!
A: Really? Nevermind... I know some Malay boys they're a bit "convertibles" (sambil tersengih kerang dia...)
bereeeeessssss...
tak cukup dgn tuh masa nak blah dah... dia boleh cakap ngan make up artist, B, depan aku camni...
A: Eh, D straight la...
B: Ye ker?
A: Yeeaaaaah...
A terus pandang kat aku.
A: I don't believe you D...
Sambil melambai tangan dia yang alahai lembuuuuuuuuuuuuutt
*sigh
-------------
Insiden 2
masa: 2 tahun lepas. kat BSC, tgh jejalan ngan S
S terjumpa kawan gay dia, J, masa tgh jejalan. Diorang borak laa say hi and all that stuff. J nih ngan bf dia. aku dok jejauh laa isap okok. malas nak join. gay tapi muka macho ganas! takut siol!
lepas S jumpa dia, S citer kat aku balik apa yang diorang borak...
J: ss that your bf?
S: yeah, is that yours?
J: (dengan tersipu2 malu) yeah... bf you meletup la! can we change bfs?
bereeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeessssssssss...
-------------
Insiden 3
masa: 5 tahun lepas...memang ingat sampai mati la nih...
S: D, are you straight?
Aku: huh? What do you mean straight?
S: i mean, are you gay?
Aku: of course im not gay! what makes you thing im gay??!!
Yang paling bestnye... sampai skang S ingat aku gay... alahai memang best. S, you memang caraaaa...
-------------
Ada banyak lagi insiden2 yang buat aku macam tak tau nak cakap apa... tapi korang tolong laa beritau aku... dengan secara jujur nye... korang ingat aku nih gay ke?
*sigh
retard
read k.s maniam's book the pelanduk.
how true is it that nation is just an illusion like what Benedict Arnold said?
nation defined as imagined communities. indians and chinese as hybridized groups with one feet in their ancesteral land and one in this country. what's all that?
which reminded me of something i read in the weekend paper. An aussie remarking about how malaysia is by far the racist country he's ever step foot on. race is taken account into everything we do. color of IC, buying properties, banking, schools, government, entrance to universities, job oppurtunities and study loans.
come to think of it my professor was right. all the feel-good adverts on tv that always has the three major races are actually reminders. constant reminders that we are actually different. and its played everday.
so now we are aware. we're not bangsa malaysia. we're malays, chinese and indians trying to live together.
i chucked the book and picked up my Gossip Girl series.
how true is it that nation is just an illusion like what Benedict Arnold said?
nation defined as imagined communities. indians and chinese as hybridized groups with one feet in their ancesteral land and one in this country. what's all that?
which reminded me of something i read in the weekend paper. An aussie remarking about how malaysia is by far the racist country he's ever step foot on. race is taken account into everything we do. color of IC, buying properties, banking, schools, government, entrance to universities, job oppurtunities and study loans.
come to think of it my professor was right. all the feel-good adverts on tv that always has the three major races are actually reminders. constant reminders that we are actually different. and its played everday.
so now we are aware. we're not bangsa malaysia. we're malays, chinese and indians trying to live together.
i chucked the book and picked up my Gossip Girl series.
Monday, September 05, 2005
and still going strong
dear love,
040905 marks the 66th month we've been going out. so here goes- HAPPY 66TH MONTH ANNIVERSARY. i feel like ive just gotten to know you but at the same time feeling that ive known you in my past life. youre a remarkable person and that makes me feel that stealing you from your ex-gf was the wisest move i ever made.
ive grown up hell a lot in the past five years and you have been a major part in shaping me to be the person i am today. i owe the years to you. i would have been a different person had we not crossed paths. how? i dont know.
thank you for bringing stability into my life. i was full of angst and so high-strung i often go off track. the main contribution to my life more than love itself is probably strength. the pillar of my strength.
praying for more happy days to come.
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