A post by D

Im checking my list of postings and saw this draft by D dated 2nd January. Wonder why he never decided to publish it. Like any other obnoxious nosy wife, i will.

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Lama. Gila.

I feel less inspired to write this year. Even though i have another blog. But that blog is for something else. No. Bukan p/ia/hza/dor/a ok. :P

Like 120,321,123,543,634,765,546infiniti (lebih kurang la...) other blogs in the blogosphere, I like to share some achievements, regrets, goals, dreams from the year that was. While at the same time, still trying, repairing, achieving, dreaming the same resolutions for this year...

1. I landed on a new job earlier last year (so weird when you say 2008 as last year, it was like only 2 days ago...) It was far from the city, no jam, I like. Not a dream job but I think I can survive another year.
2009: I wished for an increment this year. And a better post. Boss if you happen to read this blog, please give me what I want. Now, everyone can fly but I want to afford to fly xtra long. :P

2. I tried to become a better muslim. Still trying. No comment.
2009: Still trying. Must pray five times a day. Must pray for good things and redha of everything.

3. I tried to quit smoking. I didn't smoke for 3 days and I went bastardly crabby. So I smoked again. Not even proud of it. No comment.
2009: Limiting myself on my daily niccotine intakes. I don't want to share how many sticks a day with you guys. So you guys wont call me poyo. :P But S said no smoking within 250 meter radius of her. Hehe!

4. But i lead a healthier life. I cook. After a disastrous sambal pok choi. I sticked to follow the naked chef cuisines. Salad, steaks and healthy food. Less ajinomoto, more olive oil.
2009: Learn new recipes?

5. Petrol price hiked up last year, I cycled to work once in awhile. Good stress reliever. 76km to and fro. I wished i cycled as often as i can but now it's raining in the evening and i'm carpooling with S and a colleague I stopped for a while. Excuses.
2009: Must work out timetable with S and colleague. Hmmmm... Boleh ka?

6. I gave more excuses like nobody's business.

7. My freelance business gone down. Total revenue for 2007: RM40 000. Total revenue for 2008: RM4000. No comment.

2009: More business, more money! More! More! More!

8. I did less designs this year. Cycle more. Total cycling distance: 1705km (as in 1 January 2009)

2009: At least 2000km more by the end of the year. Thinking of doing a cycling journal. See if i have the time la...

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D's new blog is at putrajayacriticalmass.blogspot.com

when the thunder is crashing up above, you've given me your love

they said you don't know until you've been tested.

how true.

i got to know when it was the 11th week.
i got to know i lost it during the 13th week.

i cried for about a day. then i got over it.

its funny how you don't really plan for things to happen then when they do-your plans make a 180. then somehow the plan doesn't materialize then you're left wondering. do we pick up from where we were before. or do we try again?

i was gasping for air when i knew. could i handle this? am i cut out for this? am i a natural or would i struggle? D was elated. happy. his joy was contagious. :)

he read, he studied, he taught me stuff.

however,
GOD had other plans for us.

things were weird. i told D. he was worried. he took me to the doctors. i was referred to a private hospital. Dr confirmed it. it was not meant to be. i was admitted on the same day. Dr said she had to 'clean-up the remains'.

to be honest, more than anything else - i was just scared for me. i hope ill be fine. i hope it goes fine. i hope they don't discover anything weird. i already came to terms with the lost factor.

D, however was still in denial. It wasn't until they wheeled me into the operating theater that the tears started coming.

He said he knew that once i was in there, it was gone for sure.
He said he didn't know why i had to through all this.
I saw him mouth I love you before he was out of sight.

I counted to eight then i blacked out. It felt like only two minutes later when they woke me up.

D was there waiting. We smiled at each other. Instantly i knew now. I loved him more than anyone. Anyone.

I woke up in the middle of the night and looked at him sleeping in the most uncomfortable chair (according to him). with only a towel as a blanket in the cold hard room. still wearing the shirt he left the house in this morning.

My heart felt a strange tug.

We were discharged the following day. The total amount for the twenty minute procedure plus a night at the hospital was exorbitant. And no, we don't have insurance. We don't do credit cards. D paid cash.

While most people would mourn the loss, I found something forgotten.

I found someone who I knew now would do just about anything.
Who would sacrifice a night in bed.
Who would part with that much money for me and get nothing in return.
Who would cry for me.
Who would cry with me.
Who would leave important work stuff for me.
Who loves me more than I knew he ever did.

It's true. You never know until you're tested.

It is now that I truly will say something that I have never said before.

I am so thankful I got married to D. He is now the other half that i cannot live without.

Happy 9th Anniversary, Boyfriend.

short one

through the many emails and smses urging to boycott jewish products, i came across one website listing famous and notable Jewish people in the world.

famous Jewish actors and actresses
sarah jessica parker - actress, sex and the city.

i never felt bad buying pirated. now i feel even better. oh, she's the producer too, innit? and i aint one to run across the country to be the first to catch the movie. or whatever.

anyways,

D called. Sounded so happy. I though it was good news, like an increment or a big fat bonus. No. It was just him, evacuating the building. Apparently the airport is on fire. If he aint going back inside, we're doing lunch today. Yay.

Crappy

Im in a super super crappy mood today. I really dont feel like being at work. I really dont feel like being at home. All i feel like doing is being at my parents house and having a DVD marathon with my sisters.

My trip to Saigon was fabulous. (Okay. now i feel a bit better talking about the trip). I loved everything about Saigon. The food (walaupun the whole 5 days makan at only 2 places cos tu je yg halal, sebab org Saigon suke makan babi dah bubur katak), the shopping, the sightseeing - basically everything la. Well, except for the people. I dont like them much. Hostile. Very unlike thai and indonesia where you get superb customer service, way better than what you get in malaysia. I guess people in thailand and indonesia think malaysians are rich. or something like that. I mean we do have strong currency, only second to Spore in this part of the world. They should be treating us right, eh?

Someone should give these vietnamese a crash course. Like how malaysians equate holiday with shopping. And we are people with money. And good currency. Like you should really really really start treating us right. Dah la tak reti cakap omputih.

My foul mood is back. Sigh. I'll be back. With photos hopefully.

i'm nice

its always nice to have someone new in the team cos that would mean that im not the new member anymore.

anyways,

how was your weekend? I didnt have one. I worked both saturday and sunday. for some unfathomable reason, we had a booth at jom heboh and i had to be on duty both days. hantu betul. not that my weekends are filled with social event ke ape, but i really appreciate some extra sleep and not brushing my teeth till 5pm.

had to fight and argue over the duty roster. i told them i wanted the 9.30-3.30 slot instead they put me in the 3.30-10.30 slot. had to makeup all sorts of excuses to get morning shift on both days. finally, as usual i get my way.

how stupid of me. later they told me no booth ever, ever operates til 10.30. they usually go home by 5pm. so morning duty not only means standing there in the scorching hot sun but also working double or triple the hours those on the afternoon shift. me and my big mouth.

i went home with a tan and migraine. lucky for me im not one of those people who think that beauty is all about being fair and pale white. (mawi, are you listening?) even so, i'll tan when i choose to, not like this. i have stripes here and there, unpleasant tan lines. sigh.

anyways, talk about mawi. dont lie and say you didnt see the wedding. everybody did. its impossible not to when its thrown at your face left and right. im not a fan of mawi at all, but the nikah ceremony was absolutely gorgeous. see what happens when single male and single female get married? semua pun nampak sweet. kalau kawin ngan laki org tu susah betul nak nampak sweet. kalau kawin ngan orang tua, anak dah berderet2 lagi susah nak nampak sweet. buat la grand macam mana pun. kalau kawin dah 40 plus, erm, i really don't need to say it but really...being young, single and married for the first time really does have its perks. you really do look gorgeous.

btw, to my single friends - you guys are young and single. young and single is including still being in your 30s. :)

okay. gtg. i have rehearsal at hilton.