fifteen and seventeen

D told me he had VIP seats to see Good Charlotte. What is a Good Charlotte indeed?

That pretty much sums up about how excited I was at the prospect of seeing Good Charlotte in action.

I told Mummy D had free tickets. Naturally, Mummy told my fifteen year-old brother. As expected, fifteen year old brother started bugging me to give the tickets to him.

"kak looonnggg pleeeease??"
"mane boleh. Kak long nak pergi tengok"
"eleh..macam la awak tahu lagu good charlotte pun"
"tauuuu laaaa" what a lie.
"nipu la tu. Cuba nyanyi sikit."

I make up something and start humming. Sounded pretty convincing to me.

He doubles up with laughter.

"alaaa memang la saya tak tere nyanyi tapi saya tahu la lagu die"
"tahpape la kak long ni"
"kalau saya tak jadi pergi pun..ade kawan D dah nak beli ticket tu"
"brape die nak beli ?"
"dua ratus ringgit" i just made it up.
"takpe. Saya jual iPOD video saya"
"gile ke? Bagitau mummy awak nak jual iPOD!!"
"alaaaaaaaaa…"

I wasn’t being mean. I just wanted to do something with D. We haven’t been seeing much of each other lately. He’s been busy like hell with office work and freelance work. This is my chance to do something with him. Like, finally.

Then Saturday came. I got my period. Along with it came the horrible horrible pain. I spent the day in bed clutching a bag of PONSTAN 500mg. I hate my period. Seriously. How was I supposed to go ‘punk rock chick’ with a heavy flow and stomach cramps? I called D around 4 telling him. He said if it was bad we don’t have to go and he can stay at home and catch up on his work. (my boyfriend is a raging workaholic. officially) he kinda sounded relieved. hmmm.

He said if i really didn’t feel like it, he’ll come over and send the tix for my bratty brother. I told my mom. I told my brother.

"im givin you the tickets sbb saya sakit perut"
"sudahlah. Tak kelakar la lawak awak ni"
"betul la"
"Malas nak layan"
"Betuuuuul laaaa"

Then mummy butts in.

"betul la.."
"betul ke?"
"betul laaaaaaaaaaaaaa"

Grins from ear to ear and does a little mad dance routine.

My 17 year old sister was itching to go. My brother said over his dead body would he take his sister. My sister told my mom. My mom ordered my brother to take his sister.

Hahahahahaha.

D came over and we dropped those kids off at the stadium.

We have dinner at Bangsar. Sister calls every half hour..

1# phone call

"kak g!!! tempat VIP ni boring la.....semorang duduk je. kitorang je yang lebih-lebih"

(sounds of brother howling in the background.)

2# phone call

"HEY! LISTEN TO THIS!! LISTEN TO THIS SONG"
Puts phone to the noise. Cant hear anything but screaming.
"AMAZING HUH?"
Well, yeah. The noise is amazing.

Afterwards, mummy and I went to pick them up.

Fifteen year old brother was wearing a new Good Charlotte t-shirt with a wide grin.


See, that’s what happens when VIP/Media Passes fall into hands of a fifteen year old boy. He goes mad.

He was babbling about the concert to Mummy. So was my sister.

Apparently, Good Charlotte’s opening band’s drummer’s fingers brushed against her shoulders and now she can’t shut up about it.I probably would have gone to the concert, fought with D about where to park, sat for about an hour and walk around looking for drinks and sit for another ten minutes and then gone home after the third song to avoid the traffic. And forget all about it in two days.

Like D said, it was better to give it to someone who reeaaaally loved the band.

We reached home and brother excitedly takes out his cell phone to let us see the video (or whatever you call flashing lights against a pitch black background) he recorded with his phone.

"dengar la ni. Best tau lagu ni"
"ye la. Dengar la ni" layankan je.
"Okok…dengar…"

We wait for the chorus….

....….and all we hear is his sister’s mad voice screaming the song during the performance in a totally out-of-tune wailing against the faint sounds of Good Charlotte in the background..

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH

The look on his face?

Priceless.

is this about you or me?

Dear M,

I think its awesome and great that u decided to hold your stand . Anyways when it boils down to the deed, you still haven’t been offered the job yet, right? So no harm there. No one can accuse you of rejecting something that u haven’t been offered yet, but I think ur awesome for the ability to not let others influence the decision u decide to make in your life. People maybe think a lot of jobs are cool or lucrative or whatever it is, but at the end of the day tonnes of people quit their jobs and start tiny businesses or whatever that fulfills them. Like I said, no one can tell you what to do unless they are actually in your shoes. PTD indeed.

Me? If I took the test, it wouldn’t be for me. I came to the conclusion that I hate work. Any kinda work at all. I hate the stupid routine and stuff and to think I have to do this till I pencen makes me sick to the very core.

I told mummy I want to be a chef.

I love to cook and I find it very very therapeutic. Chopping onions and vegetables calms me down, stirring a bubbling pot relaxes me and watching people eat what I cook satisfies me more than whatever patent submitted that has been approved by the CEO. I told mummy I wanna quit my job and wear a tall hat. I told her whether I could make a living as a chef with no credentials. She said I could. She said I could just go for short courses one/two month courses and work my way up. Like pastry course or chocolate course. Sounds fun but im more into cooking rather than baking. I kinda loathe the measuring cup thing.

(My brother is doing culinary arts. He always had what i wanted even since we were kids.)

I like spices, herbs, and all that. I know my fishes and vegetables and ulams like the back of my hand, I know how shellfish should be treated, I know how to cut a chicken into 12 and 14 parts just the way it’s done at the butchers.

I use to learn all the basic home recipes from my mom but as I grew older I discovered that both my grandmothers did things a little differently and I adapted to styles which I decided was best. So we confuse the poor maid every day on how things should be done.

I think Mummy’s kitchen is like the most conducive kitchen to work in. She has like 3 ovens including a turbo one and three fridges. And she has all the ingredients in the world. Its never an issue of “err..but we don’t have saffron/bread improver/rice wine/chocolate emulco/bread softener/powdered gelatine or whatever. Mummy’s the type who would go one vacation and bring back foodstuff. I remember her dragging home bottles of spices from India. Salad dressing, barbeque spices and smoked oysters from South Africa, cili padi/tomyum paste/green curry paste from Haadyai (just cos they taste better), hibiscus tea from Egypt and some smelly ikan from a market in Bandung. She has everything. Honestly. The only thing our kitchen doesn’t have is a microwave. Mummy says microwaves are for lazy bums who would settle for rubbery food. Well im lazy and I want a microwave.

What I don’t know is why I get up at 8 every morning, eat a trashy breakfast, put on a suit that is so darn uncomfortable, high heels and lug that heavy laptop bag every morning. It sucks. It sucks the life and creativity of someone like me.

I think my parents have taken me to so many places around the world and I just can’t sit still anymore. Seeing how people live and colors and culture makes me yearn for something a little more than a sick steady job. I want to live like they did. Camped in France in a dingy tent with cans of sardine and no one there who spoke English. My parents gave me a diarrhea with that camp food. I can still remember that so so well because of that picture they forced me to take while at the Eiffel tower when I badly needed to do a number two. So I still have that picture, my sister smiling happily in her yellow mickey mouse jumpsuit with a straw hat while I stood with my legs crossed, constipated look on my face. Oh and I have that picture of mummy carrying me as a baby on Mont Blanc with skiers all around us. She told me they were filming James Bond during that trip. And she was 22 at the time.

I could work here till I dunno when and still wonder when I am ever going to afford to go to Mont Blanc or camp in France or whatever adventures mummy and papa use to have.

Nights back Mummy moaned about work. She said she felt like quitting and opening a little eatery. I told her I don’t care how small your little eatery is. I wanna wear that white outfit and tall hat. Even if it’s a foodstall. I deserve to live my dream.

She laughed at me and I laughed with her. Sounded absurd.

Btw; Boss has approved my Jakarta and Bali leave. *wiggles bum in the air* I so need this one.

From your friend,

S.

wedding bells, cockle shells and dizzy spells

last weekend was a test of how Malaysian i was. In other words, how much sun could i take. Panas gile. Refuse to go out. D came over.

I made seafood carbonara with clams, mushrooms, calamari and prawns. very yummy if i may say so myself. mummy made red bean buns. i don't like red bean much.

Papa complained i forgot to remove the shells from the clams.

"D, kalau u makan mee yang ade kerang, pernah tak ade kulit die skali?"
"tak pernah la uncle"
"tu la. uncle pun tak pernah. si S ni masak lupa buang kulit"
"itu sebab kulit kerang kotor la"
"mentang-mentang siput ni kulit putih, ingat bersih ke?"

clearly Papa is more Malaysian than i am.

Anyways.

Sunday was out with the girls. MS got married in Seremban. At 12 noon. And i was with my baju kurung and heels. Not a pretty sight at all. All the make-up only to have it slide right off my greasy sweaty face. Tak boleh nak lawa sikit. The food was good though. Yum-yum.

Lets share some pictures. It's been a while. I dont like how i look. Not even in the mirror.

Yen & S. did her kain ever go down below her knees?
she was hitching it up the whole time. so hot la.
the weather, i mean.

the two that got scolded by the brides nenek.
I think they tried to steal her gift bag .
"hey! nenek punya tu"
the other one was with the sunglasses the whole
time. It was hot. Please excuse her behavior.

why she has her arm around the groom, i don't know.
that pose had my legs cramped.
plus i look like i have trapped wind.
or something.

i have a migraine now.

throb.
throb.
throb.

i hate dealing with numrods.

family secrets

my cousin's getting married.

last time i saw Reen was in January. Reen came over with her parents and her long-time bf, RA. i never really quite liked that RA. 6 years ago, my cousin was this innocent young thing from pahang who came to kl to pursue her studies. they met on the internet and fell in love. or something. he was this guy from selayang feeding her all sorts of bullshit and she'd believe anything. he said that he was the grandson of the late sultan selangor. he said he got kicked out of the last 5 unis cos he was such a bad ass (they were still in their first semester, i dont know how it was possible) . he said the gymnasts from the commonwealth team were crazy over him. he said he had too much money and wanted to buy her everything. bo-ring gile. and the best part was my cousin believed every word. to tell the truth he looked like some demented rempit and i always ended up paying for lunch for that cucu sultan.

she came to our house one weekend. she wanted help writing a love letter pouring out her intense feelings for him. i said i never wrote a love letter before. we go by smses and the occasional e-mail. she insisted. i said i didnt know how.

she gave up and asked me whether it was okay if she copied the love letter her ex-bf from school sent her while they were in form 5. fine, i guess. she dumped her ex-bf, W when she came to kl. W was head prefect, model student and typical good boy. but who wants a good boy when you can get a bad ass rich boy right? anyways.

i had this bad hunch about this guy she was dating. but i couldnt really put my finger on it. apart from his constant berapi stories, the only thing that irritated me was his four front false teeth that were really ill-crafted. you the cucu of sultan selangor? common, u can afford better teeth right.

okay. im just being mean.

i usually see them when i balik kampung. rajin betul dia bawak budak tu balik kampung. he's like all over the place when it came to family functions. the aunties and uncles all knew him well. some were okay, others didnt fancy him that much. i think he knew i didnt really like him. he always kept a distance away from me.

two weeks back, Reen's mum called up my parents. apparently she was getting married. that weekend was her merisik, next month was her engagement and december was her wedding. i wonder why she didnt mention anything the last time i met her three months back. i found it strange but didnt really bother about it.

and then came the interesting part. my uncle told us she wasnt marrying RA. my sisters and i were well, shocked. seeing how well and in love they were.

apparently, Reen attended a wedding of a high school friend, alone. she met W, the model student ex-boyfriend. she was smitten. W was a successful someone working in a multi national company. Reen, already exhausted with her relationship going nowhere, was now seeing W in a new light. Reen, graduated and already been working for two years now was sick of putting up with her bf RA who 1. has yet to graduate his diploma. 2. has yet to get any kind of job at all. 3. was becoming insecure and clingy due his gf's career girl status.

so came the secret phone calls, the occasional sms, the secret dates between Reen and W. Reen was always cautious though. she knew her clingy bf always checked her phone, her emails and was always monitoring where she went. but she got careless. and he found out. needless to say, he wasnt at all pleased. he threatened her. he began to get physical and hit her.

kampung girl as she was, she knew when to say goodbye. the moment he laid his hands on her (not the good type) she decided to dump him. and it did help to have knight in shining amour waiting in the wings. oh, well.

i called her up yesterday to see how she was doing. she was doing pretty fine and and happy. she told me how the break-up was hell. he made sure she went to through hell before he ever left her alone.

he drove back to her home town and pleaded with her parents.
he told her parents 'kami dah terlanjur'. gila babi.
he went to see the imam at the surau where her dad always goes and told the same story while crying.
he hid behind the bushes near her house and the minute she opened the door, went inside the house with her, refusing to leave.
he came and made a scene at the office.
he waited at the lounge in her office every day to have breakfast and lunch with her.
while at the office, he insisted that he check her office mail.
he made her life hell.

she said it was getting tiring putting up with a clingy person. she said 'kontrak 6 tahun je, lepas tu tak kerje, tak belajar..selamat tinggal laa. tau tak mak die ckp ape kat Reen? mak die kate, tunggu la umur 30 nanti baru sesuai nak ajak lelaki kahwin'

such a freak. what is it about desperate men. get a job and then get a life, please. its an order. reminds me of that JLO character in Enough. Man didnt treat her right but didnt want to let her go. wht the hell. does it give them some sort of satisfaction knowing they have control over someone.

seriously. i'd chop your balls off and feed them to the gagak.

life - an hourglass glued to the table

third weekend of march. spent the saturday with my sister doing what girls normally do on a saturday.

thread eyebrows.
ate lunch.
watch movies.
browsed flea markets.
ate gelato.
bumped into people we love.
bumped into people we hate.

met up with the girls from uni days. my, my.
squealing girls standing blocking the flea market traffic between little penang and a bead stall. chatting excitedly mile a minute, much to the annoyance of passer-bys. sorry people. then NF suggested that we sit for drinks. duh. obviously. how come no one ever thought about that?

NF and ND. two kick-ass buddies from uni days. NF - room next door to mine, adjoining toilet. always smuggling in her bf. ND- permanent setinggan in my room. im not exactly a neat person, having ND around was a blessing. the things we did. were we ever that young?

at that time local unis were already declared as non-smoking zone. believe it or not, NF fought all the way up to the Pengetua Kolej to get permission to smoke in her room. and she did. really.
ND- dated a controlling sonuvabitch who didnt allow her to go eat dinner with friends, to go out of campus later than 10pm, to join her friends for any off-campus activities. weird. i know.

then NF started to talk about the day we got high on illegal substance. tell the truth, ive got a selective memory. i remember good, juicy stuff. bad, embarrassing stuff are tucked safely away in the back of my head till someone digs it up back again. and thats just what NF did.

according to her, we both got wasted. she was driving my car. and i was freaking out. she was whoozy and wanted to pull over and stop the car but i was hyperventilating. i told her no way we were gonna pull over. the cops would come and get us. the would arrest us and put us behind bars. we'd get kicked out of uni. she said i was so freaked and i freaked her out. she continued to drive even though she could hardly make out the traffic lights. we ended up near a bus station in kajang.

NF was pointing at me and excitedly encountering the event. i seriously couldnt recall. then she got to the details. like where we went. what we wore (she wore a skull cap on top of her mad brown hair, i dont know why), then it all came back to me. oh, saya berasa sangat malu. they were having a field day laughing at my expense, sister included. didnt help that NF kept on imitating the way i was hyperventilating that day. i think she exaggerated 150%.

which reminds me of the time i was with N, another friend of mine. she came to sleep over at my house in subang. halfway through the nite, we got restless for smoke. we decided to sneak out of the house and drive to shah alam. she said she knew where to get good stuff. so we went. and the next thing i know we're a this really dodgy foodstall, me sitting in the car, she was out there talking to whoever it was she was dealing with.

where shall we do it?
mm..i know!
where?
we're in shah alam! let's go to D's house.
okay. hehe
hehe.

D was almost in bed. His parents were already in bed. We snuck into his room which was on the bottom floor. D clearly was not amused. then after a while, he was intoxicated too. whee-hee. We were soo idiotic me and N. we were giggling and laughing the whole way through. D had to shush us everytime for fear that his mama and baba would some down the stairs after hearing giggling in the middle of the nite. N got hungry. I said me too. D found that his dad had bought some ice-cream. nestle creameria. or something. it was so yummy. the ice cream wasnt even eaten yet and although N and I promised D we'd just have a small bit, we almost polished it clean before D snatched the carton from our hands. his dad would never believe his sons binged on a tub of ice-cream in just one night.

N drove back to subang that nite to my place. i didnt trust myself. she managed to get us back home in one piece.

gile la.

i guess some actions maybe construed as foolish, silly or even risky. but i have no regrets. the little chat i had with my friends made me realize, given a chance there wasnt anything that i would do differently. i could have gone to uni and become the lifeless, average boring wall-flower or i could be what i was - partied-serial dated-partied-got high-fell in love- partied-flunked classes- worked hard- became president of the student organization-went on the dean's list-graduated in the top 5%.

yeah. i have no regrets.