define this

my final year project/thesis was a study of metrosexuality in modern malaysia. because they werent that many books and papers written regarding this issue, i had a few rough patches in getting a proper definition of the word and also its attributes. some said metrosexuals were straight men, some said they werent nessescarily straight. anyways, one of the source i came across was urbandictionary.com (can you believe it?). this site has wacky, wacky definitions of words, not always in their literal sense.

anyways, since we're big on this 50-year nationhood thingy, lets see what urbandictionary thinks of malaysia. or probably the handful of nutty people and their opinions.

malaysia as defined by urbandictionary.com

1. malaysia

The country where education is very highly politicised.Also a country where Malays are literaly spoonfed from their moment of their birth up to their deaths.Even if you are the no.1 student in Malaysia,you won't get a place in a public university of your choice if you are not a Malay.A Malay can beat you to the seat even if he's a freakin' retard.That is guaranteed.
Friendly?Yes.Non-racist?N ot always so.

The universities of Malaysia are foul-ridden with hordes of lazy,incompetitive Malay students.

Highly suspect that definition was given by someone without enough dough to make it to private college and without enough brains to make it to local uni (common, it doesn’t take a genius to enter local uni). High possibility a non-malay.

2. malaysia

Often touted by its proud citizens as a "developed developing country." Indeed, perhaps the most developed country in Southeast Asia (if you discount a certain city-state...) Yet in reality, Malaysia is no more than the angry, ugly, poor sister who mistakenly kicked out Singapore in the 1960s -- understandably so, given all the tools there (then and NOW). But alas, things were not meant to be...

(Great food though!)

Non-Malaysian: Oh Malaysia! I hear the beaches are beautiful over there in Bali.

Malaysian: Malaysia is NOT Indonesia. Malaysia is a DEVELOPED developing nation while Indonesia is a poor, corrupt third world country --

Non-Malaysian: Oh

Err..okay. this dude didn’t go to school, im guessing. Or he flunked history. Which I did too but I do know basic facts like Malaysia didn’t kick out Singapore. They did? They did…Singapore was that annoying? OMG…My history teacher didn’t teach me anything.

3. malaysia

Even so, no other bumis have made it into unis sucessfully like the Malays. The other races, even if obtaining the best results in the country have no hope of getting a place of their choice, minimal chance if any. Even so, the unis are super-shitty and spurns out graduates who majority migrate in search of a better income (and away from the racist treatment of Malays), leaving the few "left-overs" which possess a super-retarded level of English fluency to fill in the severe umemployment in the economic sector. As the result the economy is run by super-retarded MALAYS and if not again by the contribution of the hardworking CHINESE and INDIAN as well as the often-loathed American investors Malaysia would implode upon itself by now thanks to Malaysian Brain Drain(tm) policy invented by "Malay genius" Mahathir.

Malays: MALAYSIA!I AM PROUD OF BECOMING YOUR CITIZEN!!MALAYSIAAAAAAAAA !!!!!!
Chinese and Indian:Yay........whatever.

Okay. Super-retard Malays. Whatever. Dude obviously high-strung due to being rejected from local uni/not obtaining 10% bumiputera discount for his dreamhome/not being able to apply for dream job in GLC/not being able to buy Malay reserve land/ not being able to marry his love, a Malay chick sbb takut sunat/tak dapat ASB.

Reading his definition, I can’t decide if he’s the retard instead.

4. malaysia

This place is a hopeless racist democracy, run by malays.. No questions asked.. or ISA(internal security act) ppl will lock you up. Malays have special rights, and do they need it.

The constitution was messed up from the beggining.

Go thailand, its way more fun.
Go Singapore, just dun drink their water
Go Malaysia?... just to eat... only the food is good

All Malays are compulsary Muslims. Wanna change religion?.. haha... they'll strip you of everything. and you'll probably need to leave the country..

Hopeless democracy? At least you can chew gum. And the government is not like “okay. we’re a tiny piece of shitland, no one is allowed to have kids” and then ten years later, “okay, we just realized that we’re all getting old and gonna die. Make babies now! Make babies now! Cant you read the MRT station posters. It says breed!!??”

5. malaysia

Recent famous person would be Dr. Mahathir. 4th prime minister which has far vision but also hypocrite. Racism is mainly seen in goverment's policy towards other non-original residents.(other races, but the malays come from Indonesia. ironic eh?) Education system is total failure, Malaysians are averagely smart but most prefer to migrate or work as expatriate overseas. Resulting lack of skillful labour in the local market. Universities are super insufficient which also circum to unskilled labours. Copyrights were never important in this peninsular. Averagely 99% of the population owns at least one pirated stuff. The pros. Various kind of food available. Rich in different culture. Smart Malays are the main leader of the country,the only possible integration between races is in the commerce sector, where people are striving towards a same goal with full committment and unity.
Islamic country. Anything that againts the Islam teaching will be banned. No freedom of speech, once mispoken, Internal Security Act will imprisoned the person irrespective he is guilty or not. What a good country...with a "good" constitution.

4th prime minister which has far vision but also hypocrite. Which? Shouldn’t it be who?
And you’re just a sad rich CEO with bad grammar I suppose? But the bit about 99% of the population owns at least one pirated stuff, is right on target, though I probably would say 100%. Haha.

6. malaysia

A nice country in Malaysia with hot weather and beautiful beaches.The most developed country in South East Asia.One of the shopping paradises of the world.
And its not superduper cramped like Japan as the Malaysia is bigger than Japan and has only 23 million people!And you can still buy a house (houses,not apartments or condos or whatever else) in the middle of the capital city Kuala Lumpur!The people are friendly.And we speak English alongside Malay,Chinese,Indian too.
Oh, this is one of the very few countries in the world with 0% racial discrimination.Everybody is welcome here as long as you behave well and follow the rules.

If you go to Malaysia,you can never go back..

Hmm..sounds suspiciously like a 64 year-old expat from England. And trying to disguise it by using the word ‘superduper’. Dude, kids nowadays don’t use that word anymore. Thanks for the damage control though.

Oh, btw i got an A- for the Final Year Project i did on the study of Metrosexuality with one of my definitions being based on urbandictionary.com :P. what was it about the Education System being a total failure? Hehe.

	Singapore defined;
	A country that allows prostitution but doesn't allow oral sex. Now that's fucked up. "Dude man, this chick will fuck me but she won't blow!"

charity

When you meet someone who has had 10 cars in the past ten years compared with another one who has only one. Who do you think knows more about cars?

When u meet someone who has had 5 jobs in the last ten years compared to a person who’s been in the same job for ten years, who is more experienced regarding the current job trend?

Precisely.

Some people very wrongly mistake me for the person who knows a lot about relationships. And they couldn’t be anymore wrong. I’ve been dating the same guy for almost a decade now. (Oh my) So what makes me the expert? You are better of asking someone who has, in the span of the past decade, had like, three relationships, four flings, two one night stands and a dozen potentials that didn’t quite work out. Those are the right people to ask. They know the dating game. Just cos I’ve been dating that long doesn’t make me an expert. Yes, it makes me an expert on D, but no expert in matters of the heart. D’s heart, maybe, yes.

My male friends think I know HAWT chicks that I can fix them with. Truth is, most of my friends are okay just that..the single ones are a bit of a wild child and some are very comfortable single. I cant help. Really I cant. Wish I could.

Well today im gonna be a really good friend to them, ahem, and without their knowledge try and hook them up with decent dates. FYI they’re all ready to ‘meet the parents’. You know what I mean right?

Bachelor 1.
Mr. French
Single malay guy. Late twenties. Medium build, fair. Very brilliant. Graduated from France thus speaking fluent French (sexy!). Very outdoorsy. Likes running, rock-climbing and any fitness activities. Non-smoker. Type A personality. Politically correct. Yes, im still wondering why he is my friend.
The catch? Doesn’t appreciate lewd, perverted email/jokes. Trust me. I know. A bit lacking in the humor department. But only a bit. And he lives with his parents.
Seeks Scarlett Johansson look alike. Seriously though, would like someone who can carry an intelligent conversation, athletic and non-smoker. Basically, someone not like me. If you think you’re so not like me, this might be the one for you.

Bachelor 2.
Mr. 6’3
Yes. He is 6’3. I feel like a midget around him. Well-bred, well-fed. Non-smoker. Can be shy around girls and doesn’t talk much. Has own car, apartment. Typical ‘big boy’ who enjoys footie, mamak and video games. I think he’s into MU. Looks a bit like Harith Iskandar with hair but less fat, which isn’t bad at all if you really think about it. Type B personality.
The catch? He is the ONLY child and has never ever lived away from home. Be prepared.
Seeks female ‘who at least is up to his shoulders’ (im only up to his chest, or was it his elbows? Hard to tell, my neck hurt) pretty and ‘tak pakai tudung’. Preferably someone who’s never been married before. (Don’t know why he provided me with that last bit of information) Non-smokers please. And he can’t fit in a kancil. He’ll suffocate.

Bachelor 3
Mr. Culinary
Now I can talk about him. We have this thing call a ‘culinary affair’. We got out eat. That’s all we do. Eat, eat, and eat. Everything we plan circle around what to eat? Where to eat? Anyways. He smokes Dunhill like a chimney and has been using this one lighter ever since I knew him four years back. (Is that supposed to mean something? I don’t know. Heh.) Chindian but looks very much Malay. Able to carry intelligent conversation as well as the dumbest conversation. The only Bachelor who doesn’t live with his parents. First Class graduate and extremely articulate. Well-read. Type A personality. Oh, and he describes me as ‘almost hot’. I don’t get it either.
The catch? He’s from the east coast. Not an issue for some, a huge deal for others. And he refuses to buy a car. But he can drive.
Seeks skinny, intelligent girls with wicked wit. Doesn’t care smokers or not, tudung or not. Not nearing marriage as yet as he is 25. Relationship/Companionship/Friendship welcome.

So girls, who will it be? Bachelor 1, 2 or 3? By the way, this is not a joke. Serious buyers, I mean daters only. And men please don’t try, these people have no intention of going that direction. Please do hit me at m/e/a/n/d/m/y/m/a/n/o/l/o/s at yahoo.com. Discretion is assured. I swear. And these boys don’t know im advertising them. It’ll be my present to them. Sigh. Im such a good friend.

I hope to get positive responses. When they asked me if I knew anyone…? The first ten names of single girlfriends that sprang to mind all smoke/not willing to settle down/too assertive of their independence/tired of the dating game/contemplating being a lesbian (im sure men dig that)/looking for Mr. Right Now rather than Mr. Right.

Help me help them for a better future. :) S does her bit for the community.

the holiday. please dont watch it. it sucks

remember years ago, probably back in 1997/98 there was the movie the avengers with uma thurman? the trailer was like so, cool that everyone wanted to go and see it. and the movie turned out to be so freaking shitty that we felt so cheated? remember? well, the line 'how now brown cow' was made popular by that movie (not sure if it started before they used it in the movie). and that was the only memorable thing about the movie.

well my dear,

the holiday is exactly like that. the trailer is like, super cool chick flick with jack black thrown in (how great is that?) and cameron d for babe factor and kate winslet for talent and jude law for yummy factor. which explain the full house for yesterdays midnight show. but the movie was icky like hell. its just bad. super duper bad. sangap cam haraaamm. i mean jack black and cam D for gossake! how can it go wrong? well, it just did. its like being tortured in my seat for two hours wondering when the best part was gonna appear. it didnt. in the trailer, you probably assume that cam D takes off with jude law and Kate Winslet with Jack Black. well, they did. except kate and Jack fell in love LIKE, 15 minutes before the credits started rolling.
YAAWWWNN...

gile babi okay? sangap.

i didnt even plan to watch that. me and my kid sister and brother initially wanted to watch KUNTILANAK (honestly.) but then found out that it was rated 18PL and brother was still 15 so wasnt gonna risk money on that. so the holiday it was. perfectly understandable why brother fell asleep throughout most of the movie. we stood up and watched him sleep after the movie was over contemplating what tricks we could play on him when a pakcik arab seated behind us asked " is he sleeping? do you want me to wake him up? do you know him?" trying to be helpful and all thinking brother was a stranger and we were too embarrassed to wake him up or something. it did take quite an amount of effort to wake him since he was in deep deep sleep.

seriously.

the previous night, that friday night, me and a friend watched EPIC movie. i am a fan of spoofs. haha. yes. says a lot about my IQ level doesnt it? wasnt as funny as date movie which was freaking hilarious but okay la. can la. too bad for friend who didnt watch much movies as it resulted in not being able to recognize certain scenes. takpelah. wattodo?

didnt go climbing this weekend. D went alone and didnt have much fun either. too crowded and too noisy. glad i wasnt there. its like a pasar now right? hmm..

dreading a new week. but hoping for a looooong weekend ahead. tak sabar rasenye saya hendak bercuti lagi.. yee-ha.

and i will watch KUNTILANAK eventually.

return of the couch potato

since the release of the latest episode of prisonbreak in the US on 22nd January after the one month break, the traffic downloading the episode is shitty like hell. after numerous attempts, i finally have it! i am sooooo frigging happy..happyhappyhappy.

and then they announced the amazing race all-star with rob and amber still innit. a must watch for fans like moi! huhu

gotta go. buhbye. meeting from 9.30 till forever. zzzzzzzzzzz.....

heights. abstinence.

the climb last yesterday was fucking nerve-wrecking. they recently had a high wall installed and it went right up to roof of one utama. i was attempting the high wall which ended right were my right hand was and after that was all glass with the view of the highway. i climbed halfway and then D shouted some encouragement from down there and i looked and him and he was so tiny. i freaked and got trembly and looked away and accidently looked outside where people were the size of postage stamps. i clung to the rope and screamed for D to let me down. yes. i am afraid of heights. but i beat kicked that aussie chick's ass anyways. :P
fyi, laptop just came outta the IT Unit. A bad case of virus. am prohibited from copying grey's anatomy from the server. hmpf. boring.

something funny happened. we were fooling around and having a laugh when D remarked

"i like your smell"
"really" flattered.
"yeah, abstinence right?"

wtf? no one in this planet would ever design a fragrance and name it abstinence. i did not use a fragrance with the name abstinence. i was appalled that he would think i smelt of abstinence. do you know what the hell abstinence is? obviously he does not.

Abstinence not having sexual intercourse
Abstinence means avoiding sex. Sex can have different definitions for different people. Some people define sex as penis-in-vagina intercourse. Others may include oral sex, anal sex, or even kissing and touching. The way you define "sex" determines what activities to avoid if you want to abstain.

i refuse to believe that i smell like a sexually deprived person. or anything deprived person. i do not. hmph! abstinence indeed.

the perfume was insolence, baby. and you gave it to me.