be nice. it pays.

last saturday nite, me and D were out having thai food dinner. as usual we talked about everything and anything. and even talked some crap.

but he was relating a story that got me thinking. thinking about the past. and thinking about people and their pasts. past relationships to be exact.

my first sweetheart was somewhere in 1996. i was sitting for my SPM. he was in the same school.

his name was patrick. he was such a sweet boy. he would turn his seat whenever we had the same classes (he sat in front of me) and talk to me about stuff and after school he would walk with me to where i would wait for the bus till i left. he played the most awesome guitar at that time, and learned to play me my favourite song at that time, KRU'S apa saja. and he had a great voice. during the weekends, we'd take the commuter and go to LOT 10. we'd sit at bentley music and he'd buy me lunch. we'd have double dates with his cousin, ed.

later in our senior year, he became one of the first in school to drive. his parents bought him a kancil. and from then on, he'd send me home from school. i remember he gave me a quiksilver t-shirt one day after driving me home from school and i still have it till today, although its tattered and i dont even know what color it is anymore.

i remember prom nite, he borrowed his dad's volvo and took me to the prom. we had a great time. he called me before hand and ask what color tie he should wear. basically, he was really a very sweet guy and never put me down or made me feel bad.

i honestly dont remember how things ended, but i remember it was over when i entered varsity. but i remember calling him when i was lonely or felt outta place in the new enviroment.

during his college years, he migrated with his family to australia for good. i havent seen him since but he's in my friendster and still very much a really sweet guy.

i hope he gets a really nice girlfriend. after all, he deserves it.

during my early years in varsity i met A. he was the brother of my ex-classmate. honestly, i cant remember much good things about him but i certainly remembered the break-up and all the things that i HATED about him. he didnt cheat, or anything like that, but the way that he was always putting me down. i hated it.

he constantly was broke. he drove an old BMW but his mom would only allow him to drive to college and after that take the keys from him. he was the absolute worse at being on time. i was on the other side of town and he was in subang. we'd arrange to meet in KL at say, 2pm and he would arrive at 4.30pm. and give the lame excuse that he did leave home at 1.30pm but the train had left. and it didnt just happened once but like all the time. i hated it.

he'd tell me which places he wanted to eat and then tell me that he didnt have money, when we were already half way in. bangang betul. honestly, thinking about him rite now pisses me off.

i hated the ways he use to put me down. whenever i say i like a particular song or music, he'd tell me 'ala you suka sebab lagu tu keluar kat radio. so are so commercial. suka sangat lagu2 kat radio, tahpapelaa..'
and whenever he saw someone with tudung he'd make statements like 'apasal minah tu pakai tudung, taknak kawin ke?'- isk bangang betul.

and he's not even good looking. (i thot he was rich, i ended up paying most of the time - padan muke aku) he dresses like most dads would. that would be another heartache of mine. bracing myself for whatever outfit he'd show up in.

he messaged me recently on friendster wanting to 'bury the hatchet' or something. i just couldnt reply. i have that bitterness towards him still. i dont have any good memories to live by. just bitter and disgusted. till now.

i guess you should always be nice to your partners. be nice . even if at the end of the day things dont work out, you can always say you once had a great relationship. and that none of your exes are among the people you hate. buy her things, remember birthdays, anniversaries, give her flowers and take her on holidays. cheap holidays? she'll appreciate it more than you know.

you never want to be the bad ex, do you? the one who never took her on vacation. who never cared much. who put friends before her. who cheated on her. the one who bad-mouthed her after the break-up. who made her bitter towards men. the one who made her give up on love for fear she might encounter another you. worse still, she finds out you treat your current girlfriend to all the things that you never even gave her during your time together.


having an ex whom you get along with is like a good job reference. it pays. you shared a great life together. you once loved and shared dreams. why cut her off completely? she was a great girlfriend and no doubt she'll be a great friend.

love and let love.

D speaks to S

yes, we do not celebrate valentine's day...

we wish 'i love you' and 'i miss you' nearly every each day since the first day we're together.

we speak of how much we love each other, how we wanted to spend the rest of our days together and how wonderful it is each time we meet.

i guess we wont be celebrating v day again this year. we just don't because we celebrate our love everyday.

btw, if i may have forget to say it today, sayang, i love you so much.

im sorry that im always stuck in the office trying to finish my work. but i wanna let you know im always thinking of you and i love you so much. muahs!

valentines? -no thanks.

me and d have never celebrated valentines day since we met almost seven years ago. reason? simply because we didnt see the reason to do so.

celebrating valentines day cost way too much than we're willing to fork out for some date which seems too insignificant for us. tgif closes for a couples-only set lunch/dinner which gets fully booked by the first week of feb. flowers are 300% more than what they usually cost. hallmark card are everywhere and everything else is pink pink pink pink.

do men actually like celebrating valentines day? looking at the stuff offered, seems that they're all about impressing the laydies.

flowers?- for her. expensive dinner at swanky place? -he pays, obviously . gift? - he gives, if lucky he gets one in return. he obviously has to do the driving and picking her up. sex?- if you treat her right, and obviously he has to pay to whichever fancy-schmancy place they decide to do the deed.

he's like up to his neck trying to impress her. and she obviously cant wait to see how much he loves her. please.

i prefer birthdays (its my day!!), anniversaries (aww..) and flowers outta nowhere. at least the guy uses his brain rather than following the sad male crowd on valentines.

which got me thinking that i couldnt remember the last time i ever received flowers from him. teruk la you. lucky you compensate with designing nice cards.

lust, eh silap... lush factor part II

i remember back when i was in PPP-ITM, i had this one massive collection of porn pics of this particular girl. now, i must say that im a person whose not really into porn. no, really... why must i stare at the idiot box/pc/pictures/mags and wank myself up to the heavens whereas i can do it whenever, wherever i want?

with the exception of this girl, its totally a different (blue) story. now i've never tell this to s. hehe. only my frens back in college days would know how fucked up my pc went bagging massive hi-res pics of her. but i was never alone, i believe every yellow-coloured brain malay male who is about my age has somehow came across this girl. and believe it or not, all of them gagaed by her looks (and her, er, you know...).

i kept them pics until i met s. i cant remember wat happened. either i threw it out becus the pc kept hanging everytime i did my C++ codings or my dick went limp because of over wanking while looking at the pics in slideshows. hehe.

ladies and ehem, ehem gentlemen. i present you MY secret crush of all time... Miss Babyrina!



cantik bukan? macam setan...

p/s: to those who doesnt know who she is, damn, what have you done with your youth years?

lush factor

d doesnt know it yet but i have a secret fantasy.



isnt he gorgeous?