a pink lady weekend

feels really good coming home after a hectic vacation. three days, me+two sibling+one parent+one cousin+three aunties+grandparents+one uncle had time off in southern thailand. my supermom drove us down at dawn and reached in time to check in.

the hotels we normally stay were all fully booked so mom had us all settled for the hotel next to it called the pink lady. very nice hotel, smack in the middle of town. also is very famous for its lap dance and strip club.

incidents across the borders.

-from the streets, there are two ways into the lobby of the hotel. one, via the carpark and two, via the strip club. we didnt know what kinda place it was since shows only commence at eleven. so we were all having dinner in the streets and decide to experience a bit of the nite life when grandpa decides that he'd take grandma back to the room since they're tired and stuff. they think that a dark carpark is dangerous and opt for the other entrance. what do you know? they end up in a crowded bar AT THE PEAK of the show. the lady's prancing around around in her g-string. grandma is shaking like a leaf. she's like shit scared. grandpa takes her out quickly only to find out the only thing she was afraid of was the stripper throwing the chair at her. funny.

-we had the first round of thai ancient massage. the lady was really good. so we thought we're gonna do it again today with the same lady. only we cant remember her name. there are about thirty ladies doing massages in the hotel. auntie calls

we want the lady who came to room 527 yesterday

what lady? name?

i cannot remember. but she said 48 years. three children.

cannot cannot. i dont know.

you go check your log book.

no book, no book.

cousin suddenly remembers that she saw a number on the lady's shirt. she tells auntie.

send number fifteen.

massage no number! sexy dancer only have number!! you come second floor. you see. you can choose.

ok. so we grabbed our bags. hoping to find the massage lady who is apparently so good no one else will do.

this is so so so wrong. a huge life size aquarium. cutout fishes and shells in the background. sand on the floor with real shells here and there. and three benches. with women with numbers wearing practically nothing. ok. this is definitely not what we're looking for. plus there is no number fifteen anywhere anyway. i have a strong feeling the massage lady wont be in the aquarium. so we do what anybody else would do. we stare and and we stare. and we stare a bit more before we leave. cousin whispers we should come here again tonight without the aunties.

we actually did come back later that nite. a lap dance was in full swing. some dude in a tux pulled us in

come, come, sexy show, sexy show

is it free?

yes free! free! sexy show no charge!!

yes? free?

buy drink only.

cheh! sorry but we dont drink. anyways it was a full house. brother manage to catch a glimpse of topless thai chick grinding herself on stage to britney spears.

- the best bit probably is the reflexology we did at nite after a days' walking. really tough lady with magical fingers. bestnye. soothing and relaxing and almost fell asleep except for the nasal voice always in my ear pain you talk ok? pain you talk to me.

yeah. twas a great getaway. short and sweet

three twenty something and a wailing baby

yesterday i agreed to accompany my best fren A and her baby to the dermatologist early morning and meet D later for lunch. somehow plan didnt really go on schedule and we ended up having lunch together at the curve since i wanted to try out this new place.

ok. so if we really wanted to hang out and chat, baby Adam would require a stroller he could sleep in. all mummy had was those strap around you body baby carrier which might not be a great idea for a sit-in lunch. so we decided that mummy needed to buy that stroller. Now.

in the meantime D offered to have the baby strapped to his front. what a sight! Adam seemed to be enjoying tugging on D's goatee and D on the other hand was looking a tad bit apprehensive. It would reflect him badly if he complained it was heavy. Adam's mummy is 45kg and was asking persistently if D could take it.

we managed to enjoy our lunch session after we put down a wailing baby who had just shit his diapers in his new stroller (not McLaren btw). I dont know if the idea of a baby sleeping with shit in his diapers repulsive but D was totally put off. Give that kid a break. he's only six months!

Wei, A. pergilah cuci berak dia!
Macam mana aku nak cuci D. kan dia tengah tido tu.
Abistu takkan nak biarkan? Aku geli laa!!
Nanti aku gerakkan die, die menjerit nanti ko jugak yang pening.

D starts making a disgusted face and gestures.

A remarks,
Laa.. nanti ko ade anak, die berak jugak. Kalau die tak berak ko jugak yang susah, kena tebuk perut pastu ade beg gantung
kat perut. ko nak macam tuh?

Lol.

After A cleaned up Adam's shit, D was fine once again. During the drive home, i was playing around with Adam as D was driving. Adam was being a pest. either he chewed on my hair or he kept plunging his face into my cleavage. i ended up with a wet cleavage of saliva.

what is it with men? no matter what age they are those are the two things they love about a women. Long hair and cleavage.

unexpected guests

strange thing happened the other day.
i arrived home at almost 7pm, was unloading my stuff from the backseat when i papa was smiling at the door. i glanced at him.
'kita ade tetamu'
'sape?'
'masuklah jumpe'

okay. my dad is famous for bringing home anak yatim, mualaf, orang kurang upaya and even stray animals (once he brought home a tortoise but nobody was interested plus my maid was pissed cos she didnt have a besen to wash the clothes. he ended up releasing it at the lake near our subang home.)

i walked in to find a really old man his son and two daughters sitting on the floor having tea. my mom was talking to them. i smiled uncertainly. mom introduced me,
'papa jumpe pakcik ni kat surau, diorang baru sampai dari kelantan. anak-anak die ade interview esok kat sini'
'oo, baguslah tu,' i smiled at them.

mom, being the senior Human Resource personnel that she is, always has advice for people going for interviews and sometimes she cant help but conduct her own interviews :P
she probes the son asking him what post he's applying for. the sisters really dont say anything at all.
'jawatan kerani, makcik'
'adik-adik pun?'
'aah, semua mohon lepas tu semua dapat temuduga'
*everything they say btw, is in very very thick kelantanese accent. this is only what i understand.

mummy finds out that the position they are applying for is actually in fact PRA-pembantu rendah am. and nothing close to a kerani.
'PRA ni buruh tau, bukan kerani'
'saya tak tau nak sebut, org tanya saye cakap kerani je'
'buruh ni kerje berat tau, kalau kat Kementerian Kesihatan mungkin awak kena buat housekeeping.'
'saya tak kisah makcik'

mom then offers him an interview as a security guard at her office. but he's too short since they actually have to go through some Bukit Aman training. he said he's applied several times before but was rejected. mom asks him whether he has at least five credits fo him SPM which might enable her to take him as a train driver. he doesnt seem to want to answer asik je sengih but then we find out that he actually does have five credits.

mom gets confused.
'awak ni SPM gred berapa'
sengih and senyap.
'kalau lima kredit takkan fail'
more silence
'cuba cakap dgn makcik awak SPM gred berapa'

suddenly he lets out a sigh and points at me.
'saya sebenarnya sama dengan anak makcik, masuk universiti'
'ha!? awak abis ke tak?
'abis. saya konvo tahun 2003'
'kenapa tak mintak kerje? awak buat kursus ape'
'saya belajar jabatan geografi and sejarah. mintak jadi cikgu empat kali kena tolak. sekarang kerje susah makcik..'

my mom is in disbelief. so am i. he shows us his university transcript which he did not include in his resume.
'kenapa tak cakap? isk awak ni..'
'mak saya cakap, mintak je kerje apa-apa. saya nak mula betul-betul dari bawah. saya taknak orang tahu saya ade ijazah.kerje ape pun saya tak kisah, janji dgn kerajaan sebab orang ckp lebih terjamin'.
bagus nasihat tu.

papa , the father and son leaves for the surau. we're having dinner with the two sisters. (ckp kelantan pekat gile. i only understood some)
'esok nak temuduga tak boleh cakap kelantan tau. kena cakap sini'
'tak boleh?' panic faces.
'nanti kalau yang temuduga tu bukan orang kelantan nanti die tak faham'
'abistu macam mana nih?'
scratch heads

i attempt to be friendly..
'dah berapa kali datang KL?'
'ni baru pertama kali'
'sebelum ni tak pernah datang?'
'takk..'
'masa abang kat universiti dulu tak pernah datang tengok ke?'
'mak ngan ayah je. masa abang terima ijazah'

mom probes again.
'dulu kerje ape?'
'kilang biskut'
'oo..biskut cap ape?'
'takde cap'
'mana boleh takde cap,bungkus tu tulis julie's ke, ape ke..?'
'tak masuk plastik. masuk tin. jual kat pasar malam'
'biskut ape tuh'
'biskut bulat kecik je. saya tekan icing warna-warni kat atas biskut tu.'
ooo..i had those when i was a kid. hehe.
'byk gaji dapat?'
'bolehlah, kerje tak berat. tiga hari seminggu'
'berapa die bayar?'
'seratus tujuh puluh sebulan pastu die baik bile raya dapat biskut free'
mom shakes her head in disbelief. we are all suddenly quite.

change topic.
'bapak kerje ape?'
'dulu security guard, pastu kena berhenti sebab sakit jantung.pastu lama tak kerja. lepas tu beli kereta second-hand. skarang ayah jadi prebet. kakak sebenarnya yang banyak tanggung kami'
'kakak kerja apa?'
'kat kilang kat Johor. gaji die banyak tujuh ratus sebulan'

i cant listen to all this. somehow its crumbles me up inside. i attempt to ask something more lighter,perhaps?
'sampai tadi memang nak tido surau ke?'
'tak sebenarnya, nak tido kat surau petronas. ayah tanya boleh tak tumpang tido. orang tu cakap sekejap bolehla..tido lama tak boleh. pastu abah tanya orang tu kat mane surau, orang tunjuk surau yang tu'
mom interupts and tells me
'papa jumpe ayah die tgh tido kat pintu surau. tau la papa tu kan suke interview orang.'

after dinner mom took the sisters to show them Parcel E where the interview will be the following day. they get a glimpse of putrajaya. probably their last if they dont get the job.
they sleep over for the nite. dad and son in the guest room. sisters in my brothers room since he's away.

i couldnt sleep that nite. i couldnt imagine life in their shoes. never been out of the shell. the whole encounter just humbled me so much. i wonder if i never left selangor, never had internet, never went abroad and was in a situation that even my parents couldnt help me.

the next day i saw them off. papa sent them to the bus station at 8.30pm. they took requested plenty of photos around the house with an old camera.papa gave the pakcik a kain pelikat. mummy bought a whole box in Indonesia especially for our old uncles and pakcik relatives who come to visit.

what touched me was the one thing he said before they left.
'kalau Dr. datang kelantan datangla rumah saya. kalau tak selesa boleh sewa rumah dekat je dengan rumah saya. empat ringgit je sehari'..

papa always tells us there's a reason why God sent these people to our home. why of all houses in Putrajaya, God chose us as hosts to these people.
i think i understand now.

you bitch? so can i!

im reading through a past issue of RD when i spotted an article where this blogger makes money from writing in her blog. apparently she was voted BEST ASIAN BLOG 2004 and a few others which i dont care about anyways. i decided to check it out and see what truly constitute 'best blog'. she's a young singaporean.

hell, what a disappointment. if this is such a fabulous blog , i hate to say this but i've seen better blogs by fellow malaysians anytime. seriously. and she blogs about being horny, getting a manicure and partying day and nite. she even has a link where she has a collection of all the celebrities she's been photographed with. and its all in pink pink pink pink.

well, who cares? its her blog and she will write pretty much what she wants. rite. until i saw this link at the right hand side of the page. its called THE KL DEBACLE.
ten sing dollars if you can guess what she talks about on these post. well, the little-miss-purfect thrashes malaysians and picks on every little detail. here's a bit:

"Well about the trip. I think KL sucks. It sucked because of the bloody KL-ians are a bunch of rude, uncivilised, ti ko (for men) and worst of all, DISHONEST people. Well, at least those I saw anyway. I've never seen a city of citizens so fucking horrible before. Is it only the sale stuff who are like that? I certainly hope so."

pissed? how about this?

"Notice how we didn't buy any clothes? KL's fashion sucks leh.
And I despise Malaysia's "sale". It is miserable and once again, another cheating gimmick. SALE? Give me a break, Malaysia. Have you seen Singapore go on sale before? When we say sale, we mean sale. Like 70% off Mango, 50% off topshop and m)phosis, and even islandwide Watsons 20%.When Malaysia goes sale, everyone reduces 10%. 10 freaking percent! A GREAT FAT LOAD OF MONEY THAT IS. You want to give 10% for fuck? $10 becomes $9? WOW! How about no? Keep the change, you filthy animal."

well the best part is she rants about how she gets molested in petaling street for wearing a skimpy top and a skirt barely covering her ass. smart girl. which malaysian does that? pasar lar wei. duh. aku pakai macam orang gaji pun bangla nak raba bontot. get real.

was pretty fumed reading the blog but then found it pointless anyways. hating her is so insignificant. there is an official hate site for her already and the interesting bit is that after blogging for two years, someone she pissed off hacked her blog and her Gmail thus deleting all her previous post and 3000 of her email. well, being a minor celebrity in singapore the media covered the story (give them a break, nothing that happens there is newsworthy) and also the police report she lodged. wow.

well, im glad that malaysian bloggers are waaay better than that. even the party girl blogs in malaysia actually has something interesting to say. plus all that talk about sex by a singaporean - she must've missed the durex sex survey where singaporeans were found to be the nation least having sex. lol. must be why she's horny.

you want more?

"But at least I am back home (singapore). Home, where the toilets' flushes works, our cabbies are honest, our men are not (so openly) lecherous, our roads are not jammed everyday, our bus and MRT brings us everywhere smoothly, our sale staff are generally polite, our food is clean, there is internet access, no stepping on chewing gum, our water can be drunk from the tap, and our govt, although highly controlling... ARE DOING THEIR JOB instead of getting sodomized. In conclusion, I'll possibly not go there again "


or is it because they're drinking too much of our shit water?

selamat hari raya aidil adha

im having sakit perut this morning. not a nice feeling but thankful im at home at the comfort of my own bathroom. still, i dont like sakit perut and i dont like the feeling im having these past few days. nauseous, headaches and discomfort. hope it goes away soon because............

IM PLANNING A KICK-ASS ROADTRIP THIS WEEKEND!!

cant wait. the routine's been way too boring. everyone needs a break and some fresh-air.

plus KL is getting waaaaayy too familiar. its like you know every corner and bend and you wonder why youre still going out.

yay. we're all on a budget since this was planned barely days ago. plus its like a weird time for a holiday. but since the holidays season's just over, rates are a bit cheaper, well, hopefully. and we checked out the weather forecast for the whole time we're gonna be there.

guess what it says?

rain, thunderstorm. rain, thunderstorm. rain, thunderstorm.

so what? if we stayed in town, it'll still be the same.