kenapa orang ingat aku macam tuh?

aku tak tau kenapa... tapi kekadang orang ingat aku ni gay. or gays memang suka orang macam aku... kalau pompuan takpelaaa jugak. terasa laa hot jugak kan? ini batang daaaa.

korang baca pun terkejut kan? nak tergelak tak? anyways, aku dah banyak kali dapat statements macam ni. aku beritau korang...

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Insiden 1
masa: semalam, masa photo shoot kat kl hilton
aku kenal sorang stylist nih... aku tak nak kasi tau nama dia la. kita panggil dia A laa.. dia selalu laa conduct photoshoots and everything. lepas habis photoshoot, aku borak la dgn stylist nih dgn make up artist dia... dua2 gay... out of the blue dia tanya...

A: D, are you straight or gay?
aku: Haha! I'm straight la A!
A: Really? Nevermind... I know some Malay boys they're a bit "convertibles" (sambil tersengih kerang dia...)

bereeeeessssss...

tak cukup dgn tuh masa nak blah dah... dia boleh cakap ngan make up artist, B, depan aku camni...

A: Eh, D straight la...
B: Ye ker?
A: Yeeaaaaah...
A terus pandang kat aku.
A: I don't believe you D...
Sambil melambai tangan dia yang alahai lembuuuuuuuuuuuuutt

*sigh

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Insiden 2
masa: 2 tahun lepas. kat BSC, tgh jejalan ngan S

S terjumpa kawan gay dia, J, masa tgh jejalan. Diorang borak laa say hi and all that stuff. J nih ngan bf dia. aku dok jejauh laa isap okok. malas nak join. gay tapi muka macho ganas! takut siol!

lepas S jumpa dia, S citer kat aku balik apa yang diorang borak...

J: ss that your bf?
S: yeah, is that yours?
J: (dengan tersipu2 malu) yeah... bf you meletup la! can we change bfs?

bereeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeessssssssss...

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Insiden 3
masa: 5 tahun lepas...memang ingat sampai mati la nih...

S: D, are you straight?
Aku: huh? What do you mean straight?
S: i mean, are you gay?
Aku: of course im not gay! what makes you thing im gay??!!

Yang paling bestnye... sampai skang S ingat aku gay... alahai memang best. S, you memang caraaaa...

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Ada banyak lagi insiden2 yang buat aku macam tak tau nak cakap apa... tapi korang tolong laa beritau aku... dengan secara jujur nye... korang ingat aku nih gay ke?

*sigh

retard

read k.s maniam's book the pelanduk.

how true is it that nation is just an illusion like what Benedict Arnold said?

nation defined as imagined communities. indians and chinese as hybridized groups with one feet in their ancesteral land and one in this country. what's all that?

which reminded me of something i read in the weekend paper. An aussie remarking about how malaysia is by far the racist country he's ever step foot on. race is taken account into everything we do. color of IC, buying properties, banking, schools, government, entrance to universities, job oppurtunities and study loans.

come to think of it my professor was right. all the feel-good adverts on tv that always has the three major races are actually reminders. constant reminders that we are actually different. and its played everday.

so now we are aware. we're not bangsa malaysia. we're malays, chinese and indians trying to live together.

i chucked the book and picked up my Gossip Girl series.

and still going strong

dear love,

040905 marks the 66th month we've been going out. so here goes- HAPPY 66TH MONTH ANNIVERSARY. i feel like ive just gotten to know you but at the same time feeling that ive known you in my past life. youre a remarkable person and that makes me feel that stealing you from your ex-gf was the wisest move i ever made.

ive grown up hell a lot in the past five years and you have been a major part in shaping me to be the person i am today. i owe the years to you. i would have been a different person had we not crossed paths. how? i dont know.

thank you for bringing stability into my life. i was full of angst and so high-strung i often go off track. the main contribution to my life more than love itself is probably strength. the pillar of my strength.

praying for more happy days to come.

menulis dalam keadaan yang amat selesa

the fact that i cannot write in english well, i asked S the permission to write my post in bahasa melayu. sebab kalau tulis dalam bahasa inggeris aku tak boleh pikir straight... lagipun pegi keje pun speaking... buat magazine english-based... sampai cakap ngan orang melayu pun nak kena cakap omputih... letih laa mcm nih. kekadang tuh terasa jugak nak mencarut style melayu. hehe.

takpelaa.. hari ni takde bende yang menarik aku nak tulis pun. lain kali je laa aku tulis lagi. maka selepas ini dengan selamba aku tulis dengan penuh ayat yang bergaya, berbunga dan tanpa mengandungi kesilapan tatabahasa. semoga tuan2 dan puan2 setuju akan keputusan aku ini sebab aku lebih suka menulis dengan penuh keadaan selesa...

sekian, terima kasih. haha!

p/s: alangkah gembiranya hatiku ini kerana dapat meluahkan segala perasaan ku dimana aku sendiri faham akan segala maksud kata tutur ku... huh?

walk west till your hat floats

so 31st august came. i did honestly think that i would spend the countdown at home with hbo. but at 11 my mom decided that my maid deserved a bit of merdeka and took her to dataran putrajaya to watch the fireworks. apparently putrajaya really is a family friendly place and that was all it was to that. my and my sister with our flip flops eating san fransisco's flourless chocolate cake and watching them fireworks.
i was spared the sight of the ususal countdown celebrations- no drunken bastards on the streets or more precisely-no drunken malay bastards in my sights. harsh? thats how i really feel. too bad for you.

our movie day almost didnt happen. had tickets for mvm. the sight of the traffic trying to enter the place made us run the opposite direction and we were then at ou. traffic not much better but what choice did we have.

charlie and the chocolate factory was just like chocolate itself. awesome. i love love love the movie. or maybe im a huge fan of the book. ive read it since i was like 9 and still read it. and i love all the oompa loopa songs especially one about mike teavee. ok,ok i could go on and on but i'll spare you the details.

its just that i think its sad how some kids are deprived of charlie and willy wonka in their childhood. eh D? how come you never read the book? sad child. and he thinks willy wonka should be willy wanker for being strange and weird. duh.

yesterday i watched uptown girls on hbo. *sigh* i just love chick flicks.