D writes, i love you...

some excerpts of a song. just gives me chills and on the verge of crying when life is just too hard on me...
when i finally realized, how many times i took my loved one for granted...
just missing her... just missing her...
i love you, S... i really love you...



Got no place to go
I may take a holiday in Spain
Leave my wings behind me
Drink my worries down the drain
Fly away to somewhere new
Hop on my choo choo
I'll be your engine driver in a bunny suit
If you dress me up in pink and white
We may be just a little fuzzy 'bout it later tonight

She's my angel
She's a little better than the one that used to be with me
Cause she liked to scream at me
Man, it's a miracle that she's not living up in a tree

I may take a holiday in Spain
Leave my wings behind me
Drink my worries down the drain
Fly away to somewhere new
Everybody's gone
They left the television screaming that the radio's on
Someone stole my shoes
But there's a couple of bananas and a bottle of booze

Oh well, happy new years baby!
We could probably fix it if we clean it up all day
Or we could simply pack our bags
And catch a plane to Barcelona cause this city's a drag

I may take a holiday in Spain
Leave my wings behind me
Flush my worries down the drain
Then fly away to somewhere new
Take a holiday in Spain

times that make you smile

someone made a list of times that made her smile. some of them oh-so-true. this is my version of what makes me smile. :)

1. being in love
2. overhearing someone say something nice about me.
3. spending time with a bunch of old friends who all have gone seperate ways.
4. when kids take an instant liking towards me.
5. having mom and dad tell me how proud they are of me. for whatever reason.
6. running into an old friend and realising that some things (good or bad) never change.
7. knowing someone misses me.
8. when someone you're waiting for ' has just signed in'.
9. when underdogs win the day.
10.making eye contact with the gorgeous stranger.
11.when someone says 'you look beautiful'.
12.listening to D play and sing our song on the guitar. edwin Mccain-greatest fan of your life.
13.listening to 'i will survive'. in memories of the tough times.
14.flirting with the perfect stranger.
15.when the weight scale is on my side for once.
16.four hour mamak sessions with two of my best buds whom none are both malay and female.
17.finding out that i have the amazing power of quick recovery from s***s that happen.
18.old pictures with friends being silly together.
19.old pictures with friends during the times we thought we were soo cool. (damn!)
20.knowing i have one hell of an amazing partner.


good times. friends from university of capetown.


poloroid shot. tough times. 2001 a new year. one that bleeds.

a gwyneth wannabe writes.......

yesterday evening i went lingerie shopping with mummy.

tricky isnt it? cant pick those naughty, flirty undies without having her pause and look at me but you certainly dont wanna buy granny undies either. maybe its time to stop buying lingerie with mummy. but then i still recall when she picked my black thongs with with a pen and said 'these undies have no behind on them'. raised eyebrows.

me: i think i like these..(picking a pair of perfectly low waisted, stretchy panties thats sensible enough but would not embarras me in case they decide to pop up thru the waistband of my low rise jeans.)

mom: (frowning) they dont look very comfortable. and so tiny too! cuba tengok yang ni..ha! nampak elok sikit. (hands a granny pants so drab and baggy and probably come up to my chin if i ever decide to brave them)

me: taknaklar!! nanti seluar kat sini (point to me hips) seluar dalam kat sini! (points to midriff)

salesgirl: aiya...anak takmau lar ini macam. anak mesti mau seksi punyaa..! ini seluar dalam untuk auntie punye. anak punye mesti mau seksi sikit.

mom: (looks a bit miffed that someone would actually think she would wear those undies *DUH*) sukahatilar...mane-mane pun boleh.

okay.

what irks me anyway is that despite losing a few kilos, my chest size is pretty much the same. common! someone told me they decrease with weight. liar. i am so wanting to have a gwyneth palthrow chest. please? any ideas on how i can make my chest look like gwyneth's?
im so peeved. everything else doesnt fit anymore which made me realize, yay! ive lost weight but then still buying a C cup totally messes with me.*sigh*

something took me by surprise yesterday. was slipping on my open toe heels and usually only three toes appear. but yesterday all five toes were making an appearance. hm?
i think i need new shoes too.*swoon* nothing makes me happier than shoe shopping. (babe, are you listening?) i just wish that my mom would stop recommending those orthopaedic shoes all the time.

okay. im gonna stop this topic before i sound like an airhead. and because im listening to boy george on my headphones. creepy. he probably has nicer undies than i do.

ive changed the name of my blog. noticed?

decided wanted something more inspirational after listening to one-too-many feel good songs.

'i spread my wings and i'll learn how to fly, i'd do what it takes till i touch the sky'
'there are mountains in our ways. but we climb still, everyday'
'life goes on and its only gonna make me strong, its a fact once you get on board say goodbye cause you cant go back'
'i am flawed but i am cleaning up so well'

its another dull day today despite turning up half hour late for work, im in good spirits. im smiling at people i usually look away from. do i detect confusion in their smiles? hey..im no snob. just have a hard time pretending to be interested in things that im not.

D, however was in a very sour mood. getting agitated at everything and everyone over his side of klang valley. chill, babe. started to whine at me and i told him to quit it. F was asking 'what's with your bf? why is he so tensed?'

Its ok D, i ve been around you for quite a while now and i know the nature of your job and i know right now is really a bad time of the month. deadlines and such. sort it out k? i wont bug you.

D is wondering why but i know he's thankful since im always the cranky, sulky, snappy half of this pair.

well. whatever. happy or not it's still dull in here.

no opinions on pure pleasure.

someone asked me today my opinion on premarital sex. got to be kidding me right? ask me on that one and i'll just say as a matter of fact i am unable to form any opinions. really. my mind just goes blank on that one.
what do i say anyway? no, its against my principles. yes, it's good and i highly recommend it to everyone. or better still, it's like, totally against my beliefs. heavy.

me? lets just say i go with the flow. not that the flow is taking me much places these days. im stuck in a rut. so perhaps i'm not the best person to ask. any orgasmic event that has happened recently (believe it or not, they do occur in my life) was probably taking the first lick of gelato. and that felt like last year.

*sigh*

owh. and just out of sheer boredom, i booked 4 tickets to see starwars tomorrow, midnight. not that i'll even think about going. just testing to see if tickets were really that hard to get. beats me why anyone would wanna endure 2 hours of plastic whizzing through the air.

and also because i promised D to watch starwars on starlite cinema with him. well, cant be that bad. at least i can lie down and pretend to concentrate rather than sit upright and have some dude's elbow poking my ribs while my ass gets frozen. (F ckp kalau nak tengok wayang pakai seluar pendek, kena makan banyak2 bak kut teh!)

anybody wants those tickets? (i'm serious, not trying to play a cruel joke on the cult followers)
tell me and i'll give you the booking number.