the funny thing bit

saturday found me sprawling on the couch at D's office providing him with company while he was finishing some mega project.
i had my mp3 and a good book so i was okay. he had the radio on and was listening to era fm. suddenly this song came on the radio. the song by the era female djs. they dont seem to be able to carry a tune, the song is corny and very pop-ish. awful.
i love that song.
since i was too lazy too get up..

Alangkah manis bersatu
Bila berganding bahu ke bahu
Usik mengusik (di) kau dan aku
Dibawah langit luas membiru

'babe..can you turn on the volume?'
and he did.
he turned and looked at me
'you seriously like this song?'
'err..yeah. kind of.'
his face broke into a smile.
i asked him back
'you like it?'
'hehe..yeah. ceria sangat!.'

so there you have it.
what happens when you hang out at the office on a saturday when youre a single 25 year old?
you start listening to cheesy tracks and actually like them.

after that when they started playing proper songs i got back to my book. he got back to his need for speed underground 2. so addictive!

the rest of the weekend was a lot of fun since one of my favourite cousin, rina came over to spend the night with us. shes full of nonsense and a lot of fun being only thirteen! only thirteen! bile nak datang lagi?


left- rina, right- another cousin, nadhira

jingle bells and wedding bells

my best friend A (if i may call her that since we see each other like, once in every two months) sprung on me a huge mother of all surprises.
she has been living with this dude who is constantly in between jobs and is about 12 years older than we are. she's happy. he's happy. i'm happy for them. so no harm there. they dont exactly have an exclusive relationship. and i mean it in a way that they do see and date other people with and sometimes without each others knowledge. and they're both content with that arrangement.
thats not the surprise part.
she sms-ed me today and told me that my wedding invite (or is it her wedding invite?) would probably be in my mailbox by next week. thanks for telling me. apparently she only knew that she was getting married somewhere during raya. her partner, deciding that he had had enough of their petty little arguments took on her dare to come and 'meet the parents'.
this and that this and that and now theyre almost married.
wow. i thought i was the drama queen.
so short the notice that she's even gonna get engaged wearing her baju raya. im all giggly and happy cause i think she in the 'experimenting with life' phase and as usual i'm right behind her.

i was there when she experimented an image overhaul. from tudung to tubes.
i was there when she experimented with cigarettes. some filterless indon thingy. was i bad influence?
i was there when she tried alcohol. though i have stuck firmly to my principles.
i was there when she decided to be podium queen. i watch you from below.
i was there when she was smoking pot. i was right there with you. heh.
now youre getting married. i think i'll still stand by and watch.
but im right behind you all the way.
i love you no matter what.

also today, my long long ago good friend from primary, MSI is tying the knot with her long time bf. congratulations to you too.
im so happy for my friends. finding someone and committing is no easy task. three cheers for you guys!!

reminds me of the conversation i had with N, at daddys office on friday. i believe her exact words on the topic of marriage was 'rimaslah!'.
as of this moment right now we are on the same boat. but im not as unfortunate as her, having parents trying to match make me with every eligible tom, dick and dickhead. i guess they didnt want me to embarrass them anyway. so they let me pick my own guy. thank god. hang in there N. mr.right is right around the corner. i can feel it.

im gonna figure out what to wear for A's wedding. my instincts say i have to be really simple. none of the sequin nonsense.

and i just love the way A quoted miranda from sex in the city.
"none of this white dress crap! im just having a simple wedding and im not a virgin!"

say goodbye cause you cant go back.

what do you do the minute someone say the most hurtful words that you could ever imagine. i thought i had the answers to everything but i guess not. i guess im a lot of things that i didnt know i was. and i dont mean that in a good way.
the gut reaction was to cry. but everybody and especially me knows that tears aint getting me anywhere.
shed the tears and wondered about the rest of my life. ive been rejected and now i cant find myself to where i first started. ive been too far away from where i started and now i cant seem to find what i left behind.
fallen from grace.
sometimes i think life is like a bad movie. i just sit back and i saw i really mean it, i saw myself making the same mistakes again. sometimes im the star, sometimes im the villian but at the end im always the one people are glad got shot dead by the good guys or something. the story of my life.
i have everything i need to make it on my own. why am i sad?
maybe its a new feeling. feeling the wings that you never flown. stepping out into the great unknown. i dont know. help me?
i ask nothing more for you than to be a good listener. i have stories to tell.

Can't think of anything to do
My left brain knows all of love is fleeting
He's just looking for something new
I said it once before but it bears repeating

gotta right to be wrong in the great unknown

reflecting on what ive written and read i find myself to be a very bitter and hard person. only very few things in this life makes me happy. and even now they cease to make me happy. im always looking at the negative side of things and think life has nothing worthy of my time to offer.

If I die tonight
What would I do on my last day
I know i'll wake early in the morning
Crack of dawn's last ray

right as of now, im going to be a much happier person, take life as it is and just smile and relax. im not going to get pissed over the slightest error or mistake, im not going to get agitated when my friends wanna get silly and im not gonna hate all my sisters friends that she brings home. i will not burst out if someone merely critizes me instead i will just smile and let it come out the other ear. i will appreciate a lot more the people around me and my friends. i will try hard to understand that people are different. in fact we are all different.

If I die tonight
Will I be forgiven
For all the people I've been slackin' with when i was livin'
Those who I've hurt their hearts
Took advantage of and even lied to
Hug you one last time for forgiveness
I would like to

yes. i vow that starting of today i will be friendly, always in a good mood, forgiving, take life as it is and be sensitive to others. i love all the people in my life and i appreciate them a lot. even if you havent seen me in ages or if we know each other or never said two words..i still appreciate that our paths ever crossed and hope to mend all ties that ive severed.

If I die tonight
Would you feel the loss
Tomorrow would you dial my number by accident
And then suddenly paused.

i miss everyone. i miss laughing together and just letting life be.

the boy who cried wolf!

what irks me the most is inconsistency. especially when it involves me. i hate it, the 'hangat-hangat taik ayam' syndrome. some people try to get me (or rather push me!) interested in things that i never think about before and then when i actually get interested, they lose interest. can you imagine? especially when we're 'supposedly to be doing it together'. HAH!!!
sometimes i think that theyre just afraid of what people might say. especially when it involves something public. yeah. i think that's it. TAKUT APA ORANG KATA!
especially when theyve probably made a fool outta themselves before.

well, its their issue. have a problem with being inconsistent? deal with it! dont be the boy who cried wolf. no one would believe all the bloody crap he said after that. even when he was crying.