D writes, finally shedding tears alone...

raya eve.
this year i went to kampung driving with my bros T and H. the three of us took our own sweet time traveling. before deciding to press the gas to 130, we stopped to have our dinner (buka puasa) at our beloved hangout, bangsar. it was no surprise that all the stalls there were closed on the eve of raya. but rainbow still opens as usual.
finally reaching kampung at around 11.30.

raya.
to my surprise, all of us woke up around 6 and most of my brothers already getting ready for the prayer. some still having their subuh and some still in the shower. as for me, still exhausted from the drive last night, was still sleeping in the feotal position.

forcing myself to wake up and after the 87th time my mom asked me to do my subuh prayer. i woke up, noticing the first thing was the long queue of sms on my phone. some wishing raya, some wishing my 25th year living on earth. felt so flattered, with sleepy eyes and messed-up hair and my brown boxer went to the nearest 7-11 to top up my phone.

dressed up in a gold baju melayu, T, H and me went to meet T and the gang in front of the mosque. while muslims praying, we laughed, joked, bitched at each other's baju melayu which most of us were forced to wear by our beloved moms. while muslims reciting the takbir, all of us had a photograph session. beres... =)

back at grandma's house, i change to a t-shirt (mind you, i only wore the baju melayu for less than half an hour). not in the mood to raya, i asked forgiveness to all of the family except... refusing to look and hold his hands.

i couldn't actually bare the sadness inside and i have to admit that i sometimes missed him so much. no matter how much i hate him...

i shed my tears in silence in the toilet.

couldn't stand feeling messed up, by 9.30 at night, i went back to kl with T and H.

if only for today, then i am unafraid

am feeling a little melancholic and sad. not too sure why. maybe its the festive season. maybe its the city that has been left lonely. maybe because i realise how much i love the people i love. maybe because i have tried opening my heart to the people i dislike.

maybe. i dont know.

went shopping again today. :)
mummy almost always says its last minute shopping. but last minute would have to be dropping by the mall on the way back to kampung. i bet its gonna happen again this year like it always has. unlike any other city people ( i dont mean you, growing up and going to school out of town- you dont qualify as city people!) we choose to wait to the very last minute to actually head back to kampung. i think less time spent back there, the better. i mean, i enjoy the spirit of raya in the kampung but if i dont see a mall for more than 3 days i begin to suffocate. ugh.
right now where we live, the view consists of a highway, a shopping mall and a hypermarket. if you go up to the second floor you will be able to see the federal highway. get me now?
i dont connect very well with the wilderness, trees, people driving less then 100 and single lane roads are smooth flowing. and i dont connect with chicks on motorbike without crash helmets. i dont connect with 'tanah merah' (fuck i hate that!) and i hate having my stilettoes sunken in soft earth. concrete..where are you?
and D, stop rolling your eyes because i know you hate it twelve times more than i do.

to all city peeps, good luck in the jungle. come back in one piece. brace yourselves. after all its only once a year.

see you guys in the city.

D writes, aidilfitri...

i've stopped raya shopping for the last five years or so. because i did my retail therapy every end of the month (another reason why i'm always the unfortunate broke)

unlike my girl, S, she and the mother wouldn't stop terrorizing departmental stores and shopping mall, not to mention the silversmith in Petaling Street till the moment i wrote this. what can i say? being a devoted shoe fetish, and a half metrosexual and half heteroflex, i tolerated their manners. anyways, unlike S said, i'm into topshop... well, i'm not that gaga with the brand. they're nonsense with the price!

raya eh? this year kind of make me sad a little bit more than last year... don't want to let you know the reason though.

but then...

"dengan ini saya penyimpan mohor besar mengishtiharkan hari raya aidilfitri jatuh pada hari ahad, 14 november 2004 bersamaan dengan hari lahir mohd firdhaus bin syed mohd muntazar. moga tuhan panjangkan umur beliau..."

hehe!

D writes, listen all you nonsensical people

dear friends and foes.
since i'm too stressful and too busy with my obvious overloads, stuff-jammed, action-packed, 'fuck-you-la-boss-till-kingdom-comes!' artworks i don't think i have time to write anymore on my previous blog, www.daohthepornstar.blogspot.com

therefore, all my previous posts are now transfered to this blog. if all of you seemed to be happy with that i finally lay down my words of crap - fret not, I'LL WRITE MORE!

thus, may god bless you all.

where were you while we were getting high?

how annoying can malaysians be when it comes to last minute festive shopping? its terribly, terribly awful. and the worst part is (i really hate to bring this to your attention) its filled with those people who are not even celebrating anything!
anyways, when did anything ever stop me from shopping for shoes? went to midvalley with my sisters and came face-to-face with probably the longest queue ever to enter the parking zone. we placed bets that if could find a space less than ten minutes.
i found one in five. and it was a proper spot. not just beside a blank white wall. awesome.

"sorry arr ma'am only size eight and nine left"
"dis one don't have..dis one last pair"
"dis one left the display one only"
"ar..sorry larr kak ni tinggal size L dengan XL je"
"ni colour lain abislaa..tinggal colour oren dengan hijau je"

due to reasons above, year after year, i have always resolved NEVER to shop last minute. but year after year i keep doing it again and again. as D would said, 'you never learn'. (yes he did come to join our shoe shopping session)
d, is a really good shopping companian but deep inside the only shop he really IS interested in going is topshop, topshop, topshop. figures.
after about a few hours of pushing, shoving, pestering sales girls, long queues and long hard decisions (yeah?) i just manage to snag a pair of mules and and strappy sandals. thatll do. the sisters did better though.

i hate being a size five. half of the women in malaysia are a size five! the children in primary and lower secondary are a size five!! grannies are a size five!!
why cant i be a size eight or nine instead? why?
oh yeah. then i'll look like bigfoot with a five foot frame. damn.

selamat hari raya aite? take care while driving!